Doki Doki Literature Club Plays Doki Doki Literature Club!
by Christopherweeblingjr
Summary: Wait what?
1. Follow the Leaders

_This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed._

"Well, Natsuki, I guess you need to leave." Yuri said, earning a quick chuckle from the other two club members as the pink haired girl groaned.

 _Individuals suffering from anxiety or depression may not have a safe experience playing this game. For content warnings, please visit: [The Doki Doki Literature Club Website]_

"Yeah, you _bet_ individuals suffering depression won't have a safe time." Natsuki snarked. "I'd say they'd find it _offensive_."

 _By playing Doki Doki Literature Club, you agree that you are at least 13 years of age, and you consent to your exposure of highly disturbing content.  
[I agree.]_

"So, we're all eighteen, right?" Monika asked. "That's what Dan said."

"Well, he said it, but I don't believe it." Yuri replied.

"Hey, I'm probably gonna be _nineteen_ by the time this video comes out." Natsuki said, clicking the only option present.

"Yeah, and what are they gonna do?" Sayori asked as the Team Salvato logo came up, the music starting with it. "Send us to video game jail?"

 _This game is not suitable for children or those who are easily disturbed._  
 _~Doki Doki!~_

"What's up _bitches_!" Natsuki yelled into the camera as the four characters appeared on the title screen. "It's ya girl, Buffsuki69, and today I'm joined with Yuri…"

"Hello world." Yuri mumbled, glancing at the camera.

"Sayori…"

"Hi!" Sayori, ever cheerful, enthusiastically waved her arm in the air.

"And _Satan_."

Yuri and Sayori burst into laughter as Monika let out an annoyed sigh, adjusting herself in her chair as she scowled at Natsuki. "I can still delete you, you know."

"And I can delete system 32." Natsuki said, looking back at the camera. "Anyway, today we're proving that if you ask someone to do something enough times, they'll eventually cave."

"Oh boy, it's the one a lot of you have been waiting for~" Sayori said. "Ya sick assholes."

"Yep, we're finally playing _Doki Doki Literature Club_ , ladies and gentlemen." Natsuki said. "About a full year after the hype train left the station. I know most people would think it's too late to do this game now, but I'm not exactly known for… Well, anything, really; but the thing I'm not known for the most is uploading playthroughs of games while they're still relevant."

"Isn't that right, _Ib,_ _Stanley Parable_ , and _Five Nights at Freddy's_?" Yuri chuckled as Natsuki clicked on the start game button.

"Anyway, let's get started." The pink haired girl said as Monika cocked an eyebrow.

"Shouldn't we give the viewers warning that if they want to get the best experience out of this game, they need to play it first and not spoil anything for themselves by watching this playthrough?" Monika asked.

"First of all, Monika, as we've already addressed, this game's been out for about a _year_ already, I'm pretty sure the major plot twists have already been spoiled for most of my fans." Natsuki began counting off. "Secondly, this game only became popular _because_ of its plot twist, and that's the primary reason people have been asking us to play it. Thirdly, the game is free, and chances are anyone who wanted to play it _already has_ , and lost nothing but time. Fourthly, the fact that we're having a discussion about this on the title screen prominently featuring all four of us is probably a telltale sign as to what exactly is going to go down here. Fifth, those are reviews, not let's plays."

"… Okay, fair point." Monika said, leaning back in her chair.

"Now then," Natsuki cleared her throat, a grin spreading across her face. "Since this is my channel, I get to suggest our character's name first, and I get to do it last, because I have the best name for 'em."

 _Please enter your name  
{Bitch}_

"Boom, done!" Natsuki chuckles as Yuri covered her mouth, trying to hide her own laughter. "The jokes write themselves with this one."

"I expected tack from the girl who named her channel after the body type she's the exact opposite of and a sex position." Monika sighed as Sayori leaned over the keyboard.

"Okay, let me try." Sayori said, chuckling as she backspaced the last four letters of the word.

 _{Butt Face}_

Natsuki and Sayori both started chuckling as the other two club members rolled their eyes. "It'd be nice if you two could _act_ like your eighteen." Yuri said as she leaned over the keyboard, completely erased the name before pecking at the keys.

 _{Seymore Butz}_

Natsuki and Sayori completely lost all composure and let out loud laughter as Yuri jumped back, waving her arms as she turned to her club with a worried expressing. "No no, it's a real name. S-Seymore's German, and-and…" Yuri let out a sigh as Monika erased the name. "I'm eighteen, I swear."

 _{Buffsuki}_

"Oh, come on, pres!" Natsuki called out. "Exercise some creativity!"

"Am I the only one here taking this seriously?" Monika asked as Natsuki erased the name, earning an annoyed groan from the brunette.

 **~Jump-cut~**

 _{Dick}_

"'Hey, _Dick_ , how's your day going?'" Natsuki laughed with Sayori as the two went over possible lines with the new name.

"'It's nice to meet you, _Dick_.'" Sayori laughed. "'Would you like to read with me, _Dick_.'"

"'So glad we could have this moment together,'" Natsuki began before she and Sayori both blurted out, "' _DICK!_ '"

"Dear god." Monika sighed.

"I apologize to any Dicks in the audience." Yuri said to the camera, earning a loud laugh from Sayori and Natsuki.

 **~Jump-cut~**

 _{Sexy}_

"'Hm,'" Yuri hummed in what she assumed was a seductive tone. "'It's so nice to meet you, _Sexy_.'"

"Eh, it's no Dick." Natsuki shrugged, earning a round of laughter from Sayori.

 **~Jump-cut~**

 _{Anakin Israel}_

"'A I?' Seriously, Monkia?" Natsuki asked as the president rolled her eyes.

 **~Jump-cut~**

 _{Dumbfuck}_

"As in, 'what kind of dumb fuck would want to join Monika's club?'" Natsuki laughed with Sayori following suit.

"Oh, I don't know," Monika mused. "How's about all three of you?"

 **~Jump-cut~**

 _{Batman}_

"I'm pretty sure he'd take offense to that, Monika." Sayori noted.

 **~Jump-cut~**

 _{:P}_

"How do you even pronounce that?" Yuri asked.

 **~Jump-cut~**

 _{Manko}_

"You see," Natsuki began with a grin. "It's funny, because it's Japanese for cu-"

 **~Jump-cut~**

"A Dog Named B-!" Sayori laughed as she spelled out the name before closing her eyes, looking down ashamed. "Dammit, it doesn't fit."

"Guys, guys." Monika laughed with the group, looking at the video they were recording. "We've been at this for _half an hour_. There's not gonna be video left for the game."

"Okay, okay." Natsuki laughed as the group got their breathing back under control. "Okay, the next name is going to be the last one. I don't care what it is, we're going with that."

"Okay, hold on." Monika said, leaning over the keyboard. "M-Mon-MoNat-Say-Yuri! MoNatSaYuri!"

 _{MoNatSaYuri}_

"Seriously, Monika?' Natsuki asked. "After you shot down _DickButt_ , you're naming our character after our _foursome_?"

"You said we'd go with it!" Monika argued as she pressed 'Okay.' "Christ, I feel sorry for whoever is editing this."

 **~You should, cause it's you~  
~-Future Monika~**

 _*The game opens on the residential area as the music starts playing.*  
Sayori: "Heeeeeeeyyy!"  
I see an annoying girl running toward me from the distance, waving her arms in the air like she's totally oblivious to any attention she might draw to herself._

"Waving her hands in the air like she just don't care!" Natsuki sang partway through reading the sentence.

 _That girl is Sayori, my neighbor and good friend since we were children._

"Yet you just called her an 'Annoying girl' in the last sentence." Yuri noted. "Shouldn't you have thought, 'I see _Sayori_ running toward me?'"

 _You know, the kind of friend you'd never see yourself making today, but it just kind of works out because you've known each other for so long?_

"MoNatSayYuri, as a representative of Sayori's friends, I demand an official apology to the entire Literature Club!" Natsuki stated.

 _We used to walk to school together on days like this, but starting around high school she would oversleep more and more frequently, and I would get tired of waiting up.  
But if she's going to chase after me like this, I almost feel better off running away._

"Wow, MoNatSaYuri's a jerk." Monika noted as Natsuki crossed her arms.

"I want my name taken off this character ASAP." Natsuki snarled, more at the screen then her club members.

 _However, I just sigh and idle in front of the crosswalk and let Sayori catch up to me.  
Sayori: "Haaahhh...haaahhh..."  
Sayori: "I overslept again!"  
Sayori: "But I caught you this time!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Maybe, but only because I decided to stop and wait for you."  
Sayori: "Eeehhhhh, you say that like you were thinking about ignoring me!"_

"He was, past me." Sayori grumbled.

"Also, where did your nose go?" Yuri asked.

 _Sayori: "That's mean, MoNatSaYuri."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Well, if people stare at you for acting weird then I don't want them to think we're a couple or something."_

"Ah, I love my visual novels with a side of irony." Natsuki said as the next line of text rolled out.

 _Sayori: "Fine, fine."_

"Though I said, 'hold the jump-scares.'" Natsuki finished.

 _Sayori: "But you did wait for me, after all."  
Sayori: "I guess you don't have it in you to be mean to me even if you wanted to~"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Whatever you say, Sayori."_

"You know, she raises a good point." Yuri mumbled.

"Yeah." Natsuki began, before turning in her seat to face the president of the club. "I can't believe I'm about to say this, but Monika, try to act like MoNatSaYuri here."

"Of course." Monika sighed in an annoyed tone.

 _Sayori: "Ehehe~"  
We cross the street together and make our way to school.  
As we draw near, the streets become increasingly speckled with other students making their daily commute.  
Sayori: "By the way, MoNatSaYuri."_

"I've been meaning to ask," Sayori said in the voice she's been giving her character. "Why is your name a combination of all of my clubmates, myself included?"

"I thought it would be nice." Monika stated.

 _Sayori: "Have you decided on a club to join yet?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "A club?"_

"How about B club?" Sayori asked with a grin.

 _MoNatSaYuri: "I told you already, I'm really not interested in joining any clubs."_

"I'd just like to imagine for a moment what the game would be like if the conversation just stopped here." Yuri said.

"Monika would probably try moving into MoNatSaYuri's house or something." Natsuki chuckled.

"I'm not _that_ obsessed."

 _MoNatSaYuri: "I haven't been looking either."  
Sayori: "Eh? That's not true!"  
Sayori: "You told me you would join a club this year."_

"But I _did_ join a club!" Natsuki blurted out. "I joined the Going Home Club!"

 _MoNatSaYuri: "Did I…?"  
I'm sure it's possible that I did, in one of my many conversations where I dismissively go along with whatever she's going on about._

"Oh my god, _why was I friends with you_!" Sayori groaned with a scowl.

 _Sayori likes to worry a little too much about me, when I'm perfectly content just getting by on the average while spending my free time on games and anime._

Natsuki held up her hand as if proposing a toast, smirking at the screen. "Amen, brotha."

 _Sayori: "Uh-huh!"  
Sayori: "I was talking about how I'm worried that you won't learn how to socialize or have any skills before college."_

"Did he _seriously_ have no friends besides you?" Natsuki asked, to which Sayori nodded.

"Given the narration, I can see why." Yuri commented.

 _Sayori: "Your happiness is really import to me, you know!"  
Sayori: "And I know you're happy now, but I'd die at the thought of you becoming a NEET in a few years because you're not used to the real world!"_

"Oh, come on." Natsuki began. "Is MoNatSaYuri really _that_ pathetic?"

"He doesn't even have a _face_." Sayori stated.

 _Sayori: "You trust me, right?"  
Sayori: "Don't make me keep worrying about you..."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Alright, alright..."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I'll look at a few clubs if it makes you happy."_

"But what about _our_ happiness!?" Natsuki yelled out.

"Yeah, forget about _your_ life, what about ours!?" Yuri followed up.

 _MoNatSaYuri: "No promises, though."  
Sayori: "Will you at least promise me you'll try a little?"_

"I just said no promises!" Natsuki yelled.

 _MoNatSaYuri: "Yeah, I guess I'll promise you that."  
Sayori: "Yaay~!"  
Why do I let myself get lectured by such a carefree girl?  
More than that, I'm surprised I even let myself relent to her.  
I guess seeing her worry so much about me makes me want to ease her mind at least a little bit - even if she does exaggerate everything inside of her head._

"Oh, 'ease her mind.'" Monika said. "I read that as, ' _Erase_ her mind.'"

"Surprising no one." Natsuki snarked, earning a glare from Monika.

 _*Scene changes to the classroom.*  
The school day is as ordinary as ever, and it's over before I know it._

"Said _nobody ever!_ " Natsuki stated.

"Also, apparently I was the only one who showed up today." Sayori chuckled.

 _After I pack up my things, I stare blankly at the wall, looking for an ounce of motivation.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Clubs..."  
Sayori wants me to check out some clubs.  
I guess I have no choice but to start with the anime club…_

"Funny story, I almost joined that club over you guys." Natsuki noted. "And I regret not taking them up on that offer every day."

"Are you going to be like this for the whole part?" Monika snapped, to which Natsuki grinned.

"Fuck no, I'm going to be like this for the whole _playthrough_." Natsuki chuckled.

 _Sayori: "Hellooo?"_  
 _MoNatSaYuri: "Sayori...?"_  
 _Sayori must have come into the classroom while I was spacing out._  
 _I look around and realize that I'm the only one left in the classroom._  
 _Sayori: "I thought I'd catch you coming out of the classroom, but I saw you just sitting here and spacing out, so I came in."_  
 _Sayori: "Honestly, you're even worse than me sometimes... I'm impressed!"_

"Oh, hey Sayori," Natsuki called out to the screen in what the group had decided was MoNatSaYuri's voice. "When did you get here?"

 _MoNatSaYuri: "You don't need to wait up for me if it's going to make you late to your own club."_

"Don't worry, I want to spend as little time there as possible!" Sayori chuckled, earning a scoff from Monika.

"Not you, too."

 _Sayori: "Well, I thought you might need some encouragement, so I thought, you know..."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Know what?"  
Sayori: "Well, that you could come to my club!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Sayori..."  
Sayori: "Yeah?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "...There is no way I'm going to your club."_

"Once again, imagine the game just _ending_ here." Yuri commented before sighing. "Would have saved us so much trouble."

 _Sayori: "Eeeehhhhh?! Meanie!"  
Sayori is vice president of the Literature Club.  
Not that I was ever aware that she had any interest in literature.  
In fact, I'm 99% sure she only did it because she thought it would be fun to help start a new club._

"Why-What would make you think that, MoNatSaYuri?" Sayori chuckled nervously.

 _Since she was the first one to show interest after the one who proposed the club, she inherited the title "Vice President"._

"Seriously, Monika, _that's_ how you chose your VP?" Natsuki asked.

"As far as I could tell, there was only _two people_ in the entire school interested in it." Monika argued.

 _That said, my interest in literature is guaranteed to be even less.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Yeah. I'm going to the anime club."  
Sayori: "C'mon, please?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Why do you care so much, anyway?"  
Sayori: "Well…"  
Sayori: "I kind of told the club yesterday I would bring in a new member..."  
Sayori: "And Natsuki made cupcakes and everything..."  
Sayori: "Ehehe..."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Don't make promises you can't keep!"_

"For instance," Natsuki began with a smirk. "I promised Monika before this part started that I _wouldn't_ make jokes about how big her butt is, and I clearly shouldn't have."

"Oh, come _on_!" Monika groaned. "I am getting the command ready _right now_."

 _I can't tell if Sayori is really that much of an airhead, or if she's so cunning as to have planned all of this out.  
I let out a long sigh.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Fine... I'll stop by for a cupcake, okay?"  
Sayori: "Yes! Let's go~!"  
*Scene changes to the hallway.*  
And thus, today marks the day I sold my soul for a cupcake._

"Of all the things to sell your soul for." Yuri commented.

"Yeah, I mean," Natsuki began. "Monika sold hers for god-like powers."

"You're walking on thin ice, Natsuki." Monika growled.

 _I dejectedly follow Sayori across the school and upstairs - a section of the school I rarely visit, being generally used for third-year classes and activities._

"Wait, how old's our character again?" Yuri asked.

"Eighteen like the rest of us?" Monika hesitantly asked more than stated.

"Then how come he's somewhere below third-year?" Yuri asked further.

"M-me and MoNatSaYuri got held back a few times." Sayori said, looking anywhere but at her clubmates.

 _Sayori, full of energy, swings open the classroom door.  
*Scene changes to the clubroom.*  
Sayori: "Everyone! The new member is here~!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I told you, don't call me a 'new member-'"  
Eh? I glance around the room  
Yuri: "Welcome to the Literature Club. It's a pleasure meeting you."_

" _If you know what I mean_." Monika said in a seductive tone, wiggling her eyebrows as she let out a loud hum.

"Welcome to hell, I'll be your tour guide." Yuri commented.

 _Yuri: "Sayori always says nice things about you."_

"Well, always _used_ to." Yuri chuckled.

 _Natsuki: "Seriously? You brought a boy?"  
Natsuki: "Way to kill the atmosphere."_

"That reminds me, I've been meaning to ask, Natsuki," Monika began, looking towards the youngest member of the club. "What did you mean by that, anyway?"

"Yes, I'm curious, too." Yuri followed. "Why _would_ a boy kill the atmosphere?"

"Has this seriously never come up before?" Natsuki asked, to which everyone else shook their heads. "I'm a lesbian."

"Oh." Monika said.  
"That makes sense." Yuri commented.  
"Explains so much." Sayori followed as the three processed what she just said.

"Wait, WHAT?!" The three yelled at the pink-haired girl.

* * *

 **HELLOOOOOOOOOO READERS! Welcome to a new project introduced to my writing cycle that I'm honestly surprised nobody has tried yet. Seriously, you'd think given the general nature of this game, and Extremely Agitated Hedgehog's videos turning the girls into Let's Players, along with all the jokes that can be milked out of it that** _ **someone**_ **would have tried to make the girls playing their own game. I mean, with Hedgehog alone, they've played** _ **Dark Souls**_ **,** _ **Bendy and the Ink Machine**_ **,** _ **Five Nights at Freddy's**_ **, and** _ **Outlast**_ **. Maybe I'm just not googling it right, but I can't find anything of them playing DDLC.**

 **So I decided to make the story myself. As you can probably already tell, anything that's centered, italics and underlined is the game, and anything that's centered and bolded is the 'video editing.'**

 **Anyway, I hope you've all enjoyed the first 'video' in this series, and I'll see you all next time.**

 **Also, Monika is factually worst girl, confirmed.**


	2. The Roast of Monika

Natsuki: "Seriously? You brought a boy?"  
Natsuki: "Way to kill the atmosphere."

"That reminds me, I've been meaning to ask, Natsuki," Monika began, looking towards the youngest member of the club. "What did you mean by that, anyway?"

"Yes, I'm curious, too." Yuri followed. "Why _would_ a boy kill the atmosphere?"

"Has this seriously never come up before?" Natsuki asked, to which everyone else shook their heads. "I'm a lesbian."

"Oh." Monika said.  
"That makes sense." Yuri commented.  
"Explains so much." Sayori followed.

"Wait, WHAT?!" The three yelled at the pink-haired girl.

"Bu-but I thought-" Monika stuttered, still trying to comprehend what Natsuki just said. "You're a route in a dating simulator where the main character is most definitely a _guy_."

"Yeah, and notice that I never confess to him during my route." Natsuki said. "And while you guys are still gaga over him during someone else's route, I don't pay it any mind."

"B-but I thought that was…" Monika stuttered. "Y-you know, cause you're a…?"

"Nope, it's cause I legit wasn't interested." Natsuki said. "I mean, come on guys, what did you think 'Amy Likes Spiders' was a metaphor for?"

"… Manga?" Sayori said, earning a roll of Natsuki's pink eyes. "Okay, yeah, this does make more sense."

"And she _was_ pretty excited to join the club once she saw the three of us." Yuri noted.

"Boy, I wish I knew this sooner." Monika sighed. "Would have made things _way_ easier for me."

Monika: "Ah, MoNatSaYuri, what a nice surprise!"

"Well," Natsuki began. "At least someone-"

" _Wait a minute!_ " Yuri blurted out as she began blushing. "D-does that mean when I dropped my book and bent over to pick it up that one time, we-were you…"

"Yes, I was." Natsuki said with her own blush. "If it makes you feel better, you have great taste in underwear."

"Uh, I feel so violated." Yuri groaned.

"You think _you_ feel grossed out?!" Natsuki began yelling. "I eyed up my killer for _weeks,_ Yuri! _Weeks!_ "

Monika: "Welcome to the club!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "…"  
All words escape me in this situation.  
This club…

"'-Is run by a demon!'" Natsuki yelled out in MoNatSaYuri's voice.

… _Is full of incredibly cute girls!_

"'And a demon!'" Natsuki yelled. "'Quick, everyone, we need to get out of here!'"

Natsuki: "What are you looking at?"  
Natsuki: "If you want to say something, say it."  
MoNatSaYuri: "S-Sorry…"  
Yuri: "Natsuki…"  
Natsuki: "Hmph."  
The girl with the sour attitude, whose name is apparently Natsuki, is one I don't recognize.

"'Which is weird, cause I should recognize a Youtube fin-gnome-ina when I see one.'" Natsuki said with a smirk.

"It's pronounced 'phenomenon.'" Yuri corrected.

Her small figure makes me think she's probably a first-year.

"… _**What?**_ " Natsuki growled, gritting her teeth at the screen.

She is also the one who made cupcakes, according to Sayori.

" _ **What did you say about my figure?**_ " Natsuki continued to growl.

"Re-relax, Natsuki," Sayori began. "He-I'm sure he didn't mean it like that."

" _ **Bitch, you want to see what these arms can do to you!**_ " Natsuki yelled out, cracking her knuckles.

Sayori: "You can just ignore her when she gets moody-"

" _That's it!_ " Natsuki said as she grabbed at the screen, barely held back by the rest of her club. " _1V1 me IRL, 1V1 ME IRL, BITCH!_ "

 **~Later~**

"Okay, we good?" Monika asked Natsuki, who simply huffed at the president before Monika turned back to the screen. "Good enough."

Sayori: "You can just ignore her when she gets moody-"  
Sayori says that quietly into my ear, then turns back towards the other girls.  
Sayori: "Anyway, this is Natsuki, always full of energy."

"No, I'm always full of anger and spite." Natsuki huffed.

Sayori: "And this is Yuri, the smartest in the club."  
Yuri: "D-don't say things like that…"  
Yuri, who appears comparably more mature and timid, seems to have a hard time keeping up with people like Sayori and Natsuki.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ah… Well, it's nice to meet both of you."  
Sayori: "And it sounds like you already know Monika, is that right?"

"Unfortunately." Natsuki and Yuri both sighed, earning a scowl from the president.

Monika: "That's right."

"See, even _Monika_ agrees with us." Natsuki chuckled.

"Don't put words in my mouth!" Monika retorted.

"Why not? You put words in ours."

"Yeah, well…" Monika stuttered, trying to think of a counter as she pointed towards the smaller girl. "… Shut up."

Monika: "It's great to see you again, MoNatSaYuri."  
Monika smiles sweetly.

"Wow, Game Grumps were right." Sayori said. "We _do_ almost look like the same person from that angle."

We do know each other – well, we rarely talked, but we were in the same class last year.  
Monika was probably the most popular girl in class – smart, beautiful, athletic.

"I'm gonna go puke." Natsuki joked after 'struggling' to read the last sentence as she got up out of her chair. "Reading that legit made me sick."

Basically, completely out of my league.

"Oh, trust me, MoNatSaYuri," Yuri began, interlacing her fingers as Natsuki began pretending to vomit into the trashcan. "You and Monika are indeed in two completely different leagues."

So, having her smile at me so genuinely feels a little…

"Oh, don't worry, it's not genuine." Yuri said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Y-you too, Monika."  
Sayori: "Come sit down, MoNatSaYuri! We made room for you at the table, so you can sit next to me or Monika."

"Sit next to Monika!" Natsuki called out. "It's easier to hit her then!"

Sayori: "I'll get the cupcakes~"  
Natsuki: "Hey! I made them, I'll get them!"  
Sayori: "Sorry, I got a little too excited."  
Yuri: "Then, how about I make some tea as well?"

"Yes, do that, and splash it in Monika's face!" Natsuki called out before ducking her head back into the trash can.

"Might as well call these videos, 'The Roast of Monika,' cause that's all they're gonna be at this rate." Monika sighed with an annoyed scowl.

The girls have a few desks arranged to form a table.

"Really?" Yuri asked. "Wow, could have fooled me with how all the desks appear to be in perfectly arranged rows."

As Sayori mentioned, it's been widened so that there is one space next to Monika and one space next to Sayori.  
Natsuki and Yuri walk over to the corner of the room, where Natsuki grabs a wrapped tray and Yuri opens the closet.

"That was always opened, but why would a visual novel have _visuals_?" Yuri snarked.

"You just don't understand the medium, Yuri." Natsuki said as she sat back down.

Still feeling awkward, I take a seat next to Sayori.

"You'll just have to imagine this is all happening, cause god knows we didn't animate it." Sayori joked.

Natsuki proudly marches back to the table, tray in hand.  
Natsuki: "Okaaay, are you ready?"  
Natsuki: "… Ta-daa!"  
Sayori: "Uwoooah!"

"It turns out to be a gun, which I then use to shoot Monika!" Natsuki joked.

Natsuki lifts the foil off the tray to reveal a dozen white, fluffy cupcakes decorated to look like little cats.  
The whiskers are drawn with icing, and little pieces of chocolate were used to make ears.  
Sayori: "So cuuuute~!"

"God damn it," Natsuki sighed as she placed a hand on the side of her head. "I really _was_ making everything I do overly cutesy, wasn't I?"

Monika: "I had no idea you were so good at baking, Natsuki!"  
Natsuki: "Ehehe. Well, you know."

"Come to think of it, where did you even _learn_ how to bake?" Monika asked.

"Home EC, where else?" Natsuki stated.

"… Well, I guess when you ask a silly question…"

Natsuki: "Just hurry and take one!"

"'The poison I put in Monika's is about to expire.'" Natsuki joked.

Sayori grabs one first, then Monika. I follow.

"'Then Natsuki, then Sayori, then Yuri, then Sayori again, then this guy named Fred.'" Sayori joked.

Sayori: "It's delicious!"  
Sayori talks with her mouth full, and already has managed to get icing on her face.

"By the way guys, I feel insulted." Natsuki huffed. "I gave you all such adorable cupcakes, and not _one_ of you took a picture of them. I worked hard on those things."

I turn the cupcake around in my fingers, looking for the best angle to take a bite.  
Natsuki is quiet.  
I can't help but notice her sneaking glances in my direction.  
Is she waiting for me to take a bite?

"No, I'm waiting for you to spread me across the table like butter and fuck me." Natsuki snarked. " _Yes, I'm waiting for you to take a bite._ "

I finally bite down.  
The icing is sweet and full of flavor – I wonder if she made it herself.  
MoNatSaYuri: "This is really good."  
Natsuki: "W-why are you thanking me? It's not like I…!"

"Past me, what are you doing!?" Natsuki yelled.

 _(Haven't I heard this somewhere before…?)  
_ Natsuki: "… Made them for you or anything."

"So, Natsuki, how do you explain this?" Monika asked.

"I-it's exactly as I was saying, I didn't make them _specifically_ for him." Natsuki said. "And I-eh-I'm not used to hearing stuff like that."

MoNatSaYuri: "Eh? I thought you technically did. Sayori said-"  
Natsuki: "Well, maybe!"  
Natsuki: "But not for, y-you know, _you!_ Dummy…"

"Good god, I really acted like this, didn't I?" Natsuki said as she buried her face in her hands, trying to hide how hard she was blushing. "Just-just kill me now, save me the embarrassment."

"Well, I would," Monika began. "But you guys got kinda mad when I did that."

MoNatSaYuri: "Alright, alright…"  
I give up on Natsuki's weird logic and dismiss the conversation.  
Yuri returns to the table, carrying a tea set.  
She carefully place a teacup in front of each of us before setting down the teapot next to the cupcake tray.  
MoNatSaYuri: "You keep a whole tea set in this classroom?"

"And a library of manga." Yuri said. "And a psychopath who can warp reality. Which is weirder?" As expected, Monika was shaking her head in her hands.

Yuri: "Don't worry, the teachers gave us permission."

"Well, for the first two anyway." Yuri said.

Yuri: "After all, doesn't a hot cup of tea help you enjoy a good book?"

"'Don't know, never tried it.'" Natsuki said in MoNatSaYuri's voice.

"What, drinking while reading?" Yuri asked.

"'Reading.'"

MoNatSaYuri: "Ah… I-I guess…"  
Monika: "Ehehe, don't let yourself get intimidated, Yuri's just trying to impress you."

"And doing a better job then you." Yuri snarked.

Yuri: "Eh?! T-That's not…"  
Insulted, Yuri looks away.  
Yuri: "I meant that, you know…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I believe you."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Well, tea and reading might not be a pastime for me, but I at least enjoy tea."  
Yuri: "I'm glad."

"'Huh, what is this?'" Sayori said in MoNatSaYuri's voice. "'This tastes like boiled leaf juice.'"

"That's what tea _is_." Yuri said.

Yuri faintly smiles to herself in relief.  
Monika raises an eyebrow, then smiles at me.  
Monika: "So, what made you consider the Literature Club?"

"'My best friend'/'Cupcakes.'" Sayori and Natsuki said at the same time, before looking between each other.

"'It was a mixture of the two.'" Sayori said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Um…"  
I was afraid of this question.  
Something tells me I shouldn't tell Monika that I was practically dragged here by Sayori.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Well, I haven't joined any clubs yet, and Sayori seemed really happy here, so…"

"Don't worry, _she won't be for long_." Natsuki said.

Monika: "That's okay! Don't be embarrassed!"  
Monika: "We'll make sure you feel right at home, okay?"

"If I wanted that, I'd just go home." Natsuki stated.

Monika: "As president of the Literature Club, it's my duty to make the club fun and exciting for everyone!"

"And before any of you say anything," Monika began. "Yes, I _am_ aware at how badly and how quickly I failed at that."

"Hey, don't beat yourself up like that, pres." Natsuki began. "I mean, it was _exciting,_ at least… Just for all the wrong reasons."

MoNatSaYuri: "Monika, I'm surprised."  
MoNatSaYuri: "How come you decided to start your own club?"

"Because she discovered that if she did so, she would gain the ability to warp reality, and so she set off on a mission to prove that if God existed, he's _anything but kind_." Natsuki said.

"Natsuki, please, have some restraint." Yuri countered. "She just really enjoys lording her power over others, the reality altering abilities were just a bonus."

" _No, please Yuri, you'll make me blush_." Monika groaned.

MoNatSaYuri: "You could probably be a board member for any of the major clubs."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Weren't you a leader of the debate club last year?"  
Monika: "Ahaha, well, you know…"

" _More than you'd think._ " Natsuki and Sayori stated.

Monika: "To be honest, I can't stand all the politics around the major clubs."  
Monika: "It feels like nothing but arguing about the budget and publicity and how to prepare for events…"

"Aren't _we_ gonna argue about that stuff later down the line?" Sayori asked.

"W-well…" Monika began.

"Everything save budget." Natsuki said.

Monika: "I'd much rather take something I personally enjoy and make something special out of it."

"Like murder?" Yuri asked as Natsuki put a hand to her chin.

"Actually, come to think of it, wasn't there something between MC and Sayori about how she couldn't afford to buy a snack?" Natsuki asked.

"Yeah, but I wasn't there for it." Monika said.

"Still, you got away from all that stuff about as well as a boomerang." Sayori said.

Monika: "And if it encourages others to get into literature, then I'm fulfilling that dream!"

"Oh, this game will drive people to read books, all right." Natsuki said with a chuckle.

Sayori: "Monika really is a great leader!"

" _Give it a few days_." Everyone sans Monika said in unison.

Yuri also nods in agreement.

"Also, past me, get your hand away from Monika's." Sayori said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Then I'm surprised there aren't more people in the club yet."  
MoNatSaYuri: "It must be hard to start a new club."

"You have _no_ idea." Natsuki sighed. "We tried to start a 'We All Hate Monika' club, but we had to disband cause we didn't have enough members. So now we're just kinda the 'We All Hate Monika Club that Sometimes Reads and Writes Poems.'"

"Or as I like to call it, the…!" Sayori began before reciting what Natsuki just said in her head. "WAH-MC-t-S-R-a-W-P."

"Just _rolls_ off the tongue, doesn't it?" Yuri stated.

Monika: "You could put it that way."  
Monika: "Not many people are very interested in putting out all the effort to start something brand new…"  
Monika: "Especially when it's something that doesn't grab your attention, like literature."  
Monika: "You have to work hard to convince people that you're both fun and worthwhile."  
Monika: "But it makes school events, like the festival, that much more important."

"Well, there's preparing for events." Yuri said.

Monika: "I'm confident that we can all really grow this club before we graduate!"

"But we'll need to work hard!" Sayori began. "Because we only have shmifhmhm years left."

Monika: "Right everyone?"  
Sayori: "Yeah!"  
Yuri: "We'll do are best."  
Natsuki: "You know it!"

"You know, this is actually kinda funny in hindsight." Yuri chuckled. "Because by the end of the game, the number of club members goes _down_ multiple times."

"That it does!" Natsuki laughed as she leaned towards Monika. "How does it feel to get kicked out of your own club, Monika!?"

"I'm your president again." Monika noted.

"How does it feel!?"

Everyone enthusiastically agrees.  
Such different girls, all interested in the same goal…

"Not by a long shot." Natsuki laughed.

Monika must have worked really hard to just find these three.  
Maybe that's why they were all so delighted at the idea of a new member joining.

"I mean, I was kinda planning on turning the club into an orgy, but…" Natsuki joked, earning blushing cheeks and disgusted looks from the rest of the club.

" _Eh…_ "

Though I still don't really know if I can keep up with their level of enthusiasm about literature…  
Yuri: "So, MoNatSaYuri, what kinds of things do you like to read?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Well… Ah…"  
Considering how little I've read these past few years, I don't really have a good way of answering that.

"'Porn.'" Natsuki said, earning a round of laughter from Sayori, and even a few chuckles from Yuri.

MoNatSaYuri: "…Manga…"

"I mean, those _are_ pretty much the same thing." Yuri said.

Natsuki quickly lifted a finger, scowling at the purple-haired girl, ready to yell her ear off before bringing it back down. "Eh, it's _kinda_ true, I guess."

I mutter quietly to myself, half joking.  
Natsuki's head suddenly perks up.  
Looks like she wants to say something, but she keeps quiet.  
Yuri: "N-not much of a reader, I guess…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "…Well, that can change…"  
What am I saying?  
I spoke without thinking after seeing Yuri's sad smile.

"Yeah, something tells me you do that a lot." Natsuki said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Anyway, what about you, Yuri?"  
Yuri: "Well, let's see…"  
Yuri traces the rim of her teacup with her finger.

"Oh, right, I forgot we were at a table." Yuri said.

Yuri: "My favorites are usually novels that build deep and complex fantasy worlds."  
Yuri: "The level of creativity and craftsmanship behind them is amazing to me."  
Yuri: "And telling a good story in such a foreign world is equally impressive."  
Yuri goes on, clearly passionate about her reading.  
She seemed so reserved and timid since the moment I walked in, but it's obvious by the way her eyes light up that she finds her comfort in the world of books, not people.

"Now I'm just thinking of that episode of the Twilight Zone where that guy is the last man alive with a library full of books." Sayori chuckles.

"But unlike Henry Bemis, _my_ vision is 20/20." Yuri stated.

"And then your eyes fall out." Natsuki said.

"And that is why we invented audio books." Yuri said.

"And then your ears fall off."

"W-well, it's a good thing I can read braille."

"And there goes your hands."

"' _It's not fair!'_ " Yuri joked before chuckling.

Yuri: "But you know, I like a lot of things."  
Yuri: "Stories with deep psychological elements usually immerse me as well."  
Yuri: "Isn't it amazing how a writer can so deliberately take advantage of your own lack of imagination to completely throw you for a loop."

"I just remembered…" Natsuki began. "We're gonna need to go through this all _twice_."

"Guess we're going to need to be more conservative with our jokes?" Yuri asked.

Yuri: "Anyway, I've been reading a lot of horror lately…"

"Huh, weird, I've been _playing_ a lot of horror lately." Natsuki said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Ah, I read a horror book once…"

"'Unfortunately, it was the novelization of _Jeff the Killer_.'" Natsuki said. "'There were really too many problems for me to count, and I couldn't call it scary at the end of the day.'"

I desperately grasp something I can relate to at the minimal level.  
At this rate, Yuri might as well be having a conversation with a rock.

"I mean, if we went by intelligence…" Monika said.

Monika: "Really? I wouldn't have expected that, Yuri."  
Monika: "For someone as gentle as you."  
Yuri: "I guess you could say that."  
Yuri: "But if a story makes me think, or takes me to another world, then I really can't put it down."  
Yuri: "Surreal horror is often very successful at changing the way you look at the world, if only for just a brief moment.  
Natsuki: "Eh, I hate horror…"

"And after tackling three different horror games for this channel, I can safely say that hasn't change." Natsuki said before the video ended.

* * *

 **And thus ends another episode of DDLC Plays DDLC. I am legitimately surprised how quickly I managed to write this chapter, it only took me a few hours to get to around the first chapter's length, even when I didn't have access to the transcripts for the game, meaning I had to copy the dialogue straight from the Game Grump's playthrough of it. Admittedly, that's not too big a problem – especially given a joke I have planned – and I'm sure I can use videos of the other routes in order to circumvent the fact that the original collection of transcripts I was using has been overtaken by the Monika After Story mod.  
**

 **Also, fair warning to any fans of Monika reading this, the jokes at her expense aren't gonna stop anytime soon, or** _ **ever**_ **for that matter. I stand strong by my statement that Monika is worst girl and I shall enjoy the opportunity to snark at each and every line she speaks throughout this series.**


	3. Now With Gambling

Natsuki: "Eh, I hate horror…"

"And after tackling three different horror games for this channel, I can safely say that hasn't change." Natsuki said.

Yuri: "Oh? Why's that?"

"Because my whole _life_ is a horror story." Natsuki answered.

"Oh, yours too?" Sayori joked.

Natsuki: "Well, I just…"  
Natsuki's eye dart over to me for a split second.  
Natsuki: "Never mind."  
Monika: "That's right, you usually like to write about cute things, don't you, Natsuki?"  
Natsuki: "W-What?"  
Natsuki: "What gives you that idea?"

"Hey, don't blame me." Monika said. "You saw those cupcakes."

Monika: "You left a piece of scrap paper behind last club meeting."

"Huh, that's weird." Natsuki began. "I thought you were a _vegan_ , not a _freegan_."

"Well I'm neither." Monika scowled. "I'm a vegetarian. There's a difference."

Monika: "It looked like you were working on a poem called-"  
Natsuki: "Don't say it out loud!"  
Natsuki: "And give that back!"

"It was in the trash for a reason!" Natsuki yelled.

Monika: "Fine, fine~"  
Sayori: "Ehehe, your cupcakes, your poems…"  
Sayori: "Everything you do is just as cute as you are~"  
Sayori sidles up behind Natsuki and puts her hands on her shoulders.

"'She needs to lean down _really_ far because Natsuki's that short.'" Monika joked.

"Wait, 'she _sidles_?'" Natsuki read out. "What kind of word is that?"

"It means to move sideways without drawing attention to yourself." Yuri answered.

"I google it on my phone and it thinks I misspelled 'slides.'" Sayori said.

Natsuki: " _I'm not cute!_ "

"'I'm _sexy!_ '" Natsuki yelled.

"You wish." Monika said with a smug smirk.

MoNatSaYuri: "Natsuki, you write your own poems?"  
Natsuki: "Eh? Well, I guess sometimes."

"She also writes fanfictions where she makes her favorite characters gay for her." Monika joked, and Natsuki fidgeted in her chair as she began blushing.

Natsuki: "Why do you care?"

"Wait, do you _actually_ do that?" Monika asked. "Do you _actually_ write fanfictions where you make your favorite characters gay for you?"

"Ehehe, well, you see…" Natsuki continued to blush.

"I was making a _joke_." Monika gasped.

MoNatSaYuri: "I think that's impressive."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Why don't you share them sometime?"

"Hold on, _we_ don't appear in any of those fanfictions, do we?" Yuri asked, and Natsuki didn't say a word as all eyes landed on her. "Natsuki?"

"W-well…" Natsuki stuttered. "There were a few… Characters _based_ on you-"

"Oh god, _no_!" Yuri cried as the group fell back into their chairs.

"Why can't we have a club with _normal_ people?" Sayori asked.

"Don't worry, I burned every last one of them." Natsuki sputtered out, attempting to wave the topic out of the room.

Natsuki: "N-no!"  
Natsuki averts her eyes.  
Natsuki: "You wouldn't… Like them…"

"Yeah, you can say that again." Yuri stated.

MoNatSaYuri: "Ah… Not a very confident writer yet?"

"'No, I was actually starting to tell you one.'" Sayori said in her best impression of her pink-haired friend.

Yuri: "I understand how Natsuki feels."

"'For the first and last time.'" Yuri said.

Yuri: "Sharing that level of writing takes more than just confidence."

"'It requires you be anonymous.'" Natsuki said, impersonating Yuri. "'Hence why people used pen names and posted stories online behind stupid usernames.'"

Yuri: "The truest form of writing is writing to oneself."  
Yuri: "You must be willing to open up to your readers, exposing your vulnerabilities and showing even the deepest reaches of your heart."

"'For example,'" Sayori continued. "'On the inside, you might be a giant dog.'"

"I thought you were going to say, 'giant _dick_ ,'" Natsuki chuckled. "And it would fit so well with this guy."

Monika: "Do you have writing experience too, Yuri?"

"None that counts," Natsuki jokes. "She just writes _Twilight_ and _Fifty Shades of Gray_ smut fics."

Yuri's purple eyes widened, and she went as still as a statue as her face lit up red. Everyone looked towards here, and after a moment, Natsuki started giggling before leaning towards the purple haired girl. "Oh, sweet Yuri?" Natsuki asked. "Is there anything you would like to say?"

"Yeah, I was a stupid teenager." Yuri said quietly.

Monika: "Maybe if you share some of your work, you can set an example and help Natsuki feel comfortable enough to share hers."  
Yuri: "…"

"Wait a minute," Yuri began. "Shouldn't you be the one to set an example, _pres_?"

MoNatSaYuri: "I guess it's the same for Yuri…"  
Sayori: "Aww… I wanted to read everyone's poems…"

"Trust me, you _don't_." Natsuki and Yuri both said in unison.

We all sit in silence for a moment.  
Monika: "Okay!"

"It's wildly uncomfortable," Sayori began. "And then Monika _explodes_ through the screen!"

"Uh, I hope not." Natsuki said. " _One_ of her is bad enough."

"Natsuki, I will smack you so hard…" Monika growled.

Monika: "I have an idea, everyone~"

"'We'll – um, uh…'" Natsuki began, pretending to stammer. "'… I-It's coming, give me a minute…'"

"'Did I hear Monika having an idea in here?'" Yuri asked.

Nat & Yuri: "…?"  
Natsuki and Yuri look quizzically at Monika.  
Monika: "Let's all go home and write a poem of our own!"  
Monika: "Then, next time we meet, we'll all share them with each other."  
Monika: "That way, everyone is even!"  
Natsuki: "U-Um…"  
Yuri: "…"  
Sayori: "Yeaah! Let's do it!"

"Are you kidding?" Natsuki asked. "A poem in one night? Every day? Most people could hardly write a good one in a _month_."

Monika: "Plus, now that we have a new member, I think it will help us all get a little more comfortable with each other, and strengthen the bound of the club."  
Monika: "Isn't that right, MoNatSaYuri?"  
Monika smiles warmly at me once again.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Hold on… There's still one problem."  
Monika: "Eh? What's that?"

"'I don't know how to read or write.'" Natsuki joked, causing the rest of the club to start laughing. "'I don't even know what literature _is_!'"

"Well, I suppose you did get held back." Yuri chuckled.

Now that we're back to the original topic of me joining the club, I bluntly come forth with what's been on my mind the entire time.  
MoNatSaYuri: "I never said I would join this club!"

"And thus, MoNatSaYuri left." Yuri narrated. "And we _never_ needed to put up with Monika's evil scheme."

"Yeah, if only." Natsuki sighed.

MoNatSaYuri: "Sayori may have convinced me to stop by, but I never made any decision."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I still have other clubs to look at, and… Um…"  
I lose my train of thought.

"You had one to begin with?" Natsuki asked.

All four girls stare back at me with dejected eyes.  
Monika: "B-But…"  
Yuri: "I'm sorry, I thought…"  
Natsuki: "Hmph…"

"'We're all sinking!'" Sayori cried out.

Sayori: "MoNatSaYuri…"

"' _Help!_ '" Sayori yelled.

MoNatSaYuri: "Y-you all…"  
I… I'm defenseless against these girls.  
How am I supposed to make a clear headed decision when it's like this.  
That is, if writing poems is the price I need to pay in order to spend every day with these beautiful girls…

"One's a lesbian, one's too good for you, one's gonna kill herself at the end of the week, and one's Monika." Natsuki rattled off quickly. " _It wouldn't work out_."

MoNatSaYuri: "… Right."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Okay, I've decided, then."

"'I'm joining the anime club.'" Natsuki said.

"And we all lived happily ever after." Yuri said.

MoNatSaYuri: "I'll join the Literature Club."

" _NOOOOOOOOOO!_ " Natsuki, Yuri, and Sayori all cried out.

" _Yeeeeesss._ " Monika added.

One by one, the girls' eyes light up.  
Sayori: "Yesss! I'm so happyyy~"

"Oh, you won't be." Sayori noted.

Sayori wraps her arms around me, jumping up and down.  
MoNatSaYuri: "H-Hey-"  
Yuri: "You really did scare me for a moment…"

"'And that's Monika's job.'" Yuri quipped.

Natsuki: "If you really just came for the cupcakes, I would be super pissed."

"See, this is what I'm talking about." Natsuki said. "While you guys were all celebrating him joining, _I_ was only thinking of how he wasted my time."

Monika: "Then that makes it official!"

"'Eat my hair, Natsuki.'" Sayori said, impersonating the club's president.

"Oh, by the way, Monika, your hairspray tastes terrible." Natsuki commented.

"Oh, so sorry." Monika responded. "I'll be sure to get hairspray that's bubblegum flavored from now on."

Monika: "Welcome to the Literature Club!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ah… Thanks, I guess."  
Monika: "Okay, everyone!"

"' _Vanish!_ '" Sayori said.

"Huh, that's weird," Natsuki said. "I thought I at least made it to the second act."

Monika: "I think with that, we can officially end today's meeting on a good note."  
Monika: "Everyone remember tonight's assignment."  
Monika: "Write a poem to bring to the next meeting, so we can all share!"

"Show of hands," Natsuki began. "Who just brought a poem that's been sitting in their collection for god knows how long?" As Natsuki raised her hand, Yuri brought hers up as well.

"Seriously, guys?" Monika asked.

"Monika, as shocking as it sounds, we have lives _outside_ of the literature club." Natsuki stated.

"… Why didn't I think of that?" Sayori muttered.

Monika looks over at me once more.  
Monika: "MoNatSaYuri, I look forward to seeing how you express yourself."  
Monika: "Ehehe~"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Y-Yeah…"  
Can I really impress the class star Monika with my mediocre writing skills?

"You kidding?" Natsuki began. "With how head-over-heels she is for you, you could probably just rip words out of the dictionary, put them in a random order, and she'll call you the next Shakespeare or something."

"I wouldn't-!" Monika began before her eyes widened and her cheeks lit up. "Oh, right, never mind."

I already feel the anxiety welling up inside me.  
Meanwhile, the girls continue to chit-chat as Yuri and Natsuki clean up their food.  
Sayori: "Hey, MoNatSaYuri, since we're already here, do you want to walk home together?"

"'Nah, I'd rather swim home.'" Sayori joked.

That's right – Sayori and I never walk home together anymore because she always stayed after school for clubs.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Sure, might as well."

"And thus, Monika found her first victim." Yuri said.

Sayori: "Yaay~"  
*Scene changes to residential area.*  
With that, the two of us depart the clubroom and make our way home.

"And left _us_ to clean everything up!" Natsuki growled.

"It wasn't _that_ much." Sayori said, twiddling her fingers.

"That cupcake party thing was _your_ idea!" Natsuki yelled. "And you left _us_ to set it up and clean it up!"

"Sorry…"

The whole way, my mind wanders back and forth between the four girls.  
Sayori,  
Natsuki,  
Yuri,  
And, of course, Monika.  
Will I really be happy spending every day after school in a literature club?

"You, maybe." Natsuki said. "The rest of us, _hell fucking no_."

Perhaps I'll have the chance to grow closer to one of these girls…  
Alright!  
I'll just need to make the most of my circumstances, and I'm sure good fortune will find me.

"Oh, you sweet, ignorant soul." Yuri joked.

And I guess that starts with writing a poem tonight…  
*Scene fades to black, before fading in on a notebook spread across a table.*  
It's time to write a poem!  
Pick words you think your favorite club member will like. Something good might happen with whoever likes your poem the most!  
[OK]

"Oh, boy!" Sayori cried out as Natsuki finished reading the textbox. "I wonder what _that_ could mean!"

"If it ain't me getting an apartment, I don't care." Natsuki said as she reached under her desk. "Okay, since this involves a bunch of words we all like, we're going to be playing a little game."

"Yes, we're playing a game as we play a game." Yuri said.

"Football is way more fun when they play rock-paper-scissors in the middle of it." Monika added as Natsuki held up what looked like three eraser caps cut in half and glued together to make a cross between a triangle and a hexagon.

"We're going to be rolling this die." Natsuki explained. "If we roll a one, then Sayori chooses a word. If we roll a two, I choose a word; and if we roll a three, Yuri chooses a word."

"When do I get to choose a word?" Monika asked.

"You don't." Natsuki answered before throwing the make-shift die onto her desk, which jumped across the table before falling to the floor.

"Oh, that's a one!" Sayori said as she leaned towards the table, snatching the mouse out of Natsuki's hand. "Let's go with 'flying!'"

As Natsuki picked the die back up, the chibi-Sayori on the screen jumped up in joy upon her word being selected. The die jumped across the table again before Natsuki leaned over it. "That's a two, so…" She quickly scanned her eyes over the word selection before finding one she liked. "'Nibble.'"

The chibi-Natsuki jumped up, giving the players a dull gasp before Yuri and Monika started chuckling. Natsuki once again rolled the die, looking down at the numbers before looking back at Yuri. "Okay, Yuri, you're up."

"Your chibi…" Yuri chuckled. "It just-it just looked like, 'Yeah, sure, you chose a word I liked. That's cool or whatever, I guess.'"

"Yeah yeah, it's hilarious, now pick a word." Natsuki said before pointing at the screen.

"Right, right," Yuri said as she looked over the word selection. "Let's go with… 'Raindrops.'"

The chibi-Yuri brought her hands up to her cheeks as she jumped up in joy before Natsuki threw the die again. "Okay, my turn… 'Chocolate.'" The pink-haired girl quickly threw the die again before looking at Sayori. "You're turn again."

"Oh, 'heart!'" Sayori cried out as she clicked the word. " _No, wait! Ocean!_ "

"Too late." Natsuki said as she threw the die again. "-Or not, it's your turn again."

"' _Joy!'_ " Sayori call out, and Natsuki once again threw the die down.

"That's a two, so… 'Lollipop.'" Natsuki said.

" _~Lollipop~_ " Monika sang.

" _~Lollipop_ ~" Sayori continued.

" _~Oh lolli-lolli-lolli. Lollipop~_ " The two sang as Natsuki threw the die again.

"Wow, me again…" Natsuki said before she began reading over the list of words. She hovered the mouse over the word 'papa,' narrowing her eyes at the word before she said, "No." She quickly darted the mouse over to the word 'pink' and selected that.

"You pick that word, and Natsuki's chibi just starts screaming or something." Yuri joked as Natsuki rolled the die.

"Wow, me again!" Natsuki gasped as she looked over the list.

" _That's illegal!_ " Sayori yelled.

"Go directly to jail!" Monika joked.

"Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars." Yuri continued as Natsuki clicked on 'cheeks.' Picking up the die, Natsuki cupped her hands together and began enthusiastically shaking her hands around before opening them, letting the die roll out onto the table.

"Hey, Yuri, you can choose a word again." Natsuki said as Yuri reached for the mouse.

"'Wrath.'" Yuri read out as she selected her word.

"Hey, can we say that every ten words, I get to choose one?" Monika asked as Natsuki got ready to roll the die.

"No." Natsuki answered as she dropped the die onto the table. "Me again…" Natsuki muttered before clicking her word. "Milk."

"Now I'm thirsty." Sayori said as Natsuki rolled the die.

"Yeah, well get a drink later, it's your turn." Natsuki said.

"'Wonderful!'" Sayori said as she clicked the word.

Natsuki once again rolled the die, before looking up at the screen as she grabbed the mouse. "'Socks.'" She read out as she clicked the word.

"Oh boy, Natsuki has a bit of a lead!" Sayori pretended to gasp as Natsuki rolled the die again.

"And I'm in dead last." Yuri said.

"Well, here's your chance for a comeback." Natsuki said as she leaned away from the keyboard.

"Yeah, cause one word is gonna make all the difference." Yuri said, before clicking on the word 'journey,' and Natsuki once again rolled the die.

"Okay, Sayori, you're up." Natsuki said.

"Oh, 'extraordinary!'" Sayori said as she clicked the word.

Natsuki once again dropped the die on the table, before turning her attention to Yuri. "Hey, Yuri, the random number god has taken pity on you."

"That thing must be weighted or something." Yuri muttered as she looked through the list. "… 'Starscape.'"

Natsuki lifted the die off the table and dropped it back down, before turning her attention back to Yuri. "Hey, guess what? It's taking _even_ _more_ pity on you."

"Oh, cool." Yuri said before looking through the words again. "'Fickle.'"

Natsuki shook the die around before throwing it to the table, and watched as it bounced off before falling behind the desk. "Oh, come on…" Natsuki muttered before crawling under the table.

"This is what people clicked this video to see, isn't it?" Monika asked as she looked towards the camera.

"Should we edit this out, you think?" Sayori asked as Natsuki came back up.

"Eh, I'm sure it will be fine." Natsuki said as she shook her hands again. "Re-roll!" She dropped the die to the table, and immediately pointed an accusatory finger at Yuri. "Go directly to jail!"

"Oh cool, my turn again?" Yuri asked as she looked over the words. "Oh, 'Universe.'"

"And out of nowhere, Yuri makes an unexpected recovery!" Sayori announced as Natsuki tossed the die to the table again.

"Your turn, Sayori." Natsuki said.

"Oh, 'fireflies!'" Sayori called out upon clicking the word.

"Hey, can I at least do the last roll?" Monika asked. Reaching for the die before Natsuki snatched it away.

" _No_." Natsuki said before throwing down the die. "Sayori again."

"'Together!'" Sayori said as she clicked the word.

The list disappeared from the notebook, and Sayori's chibi jumped up in joy as the screen faded to black.

"So it's a tie between Sayori and Natsuki?" Monika asked.

"Guess so." Natsuki said. "You know, when I suggested the whole die thing, I thought we'd walk out of it knowing whose route we were on."

"What happens when there's a tie?" Yuri asked, to which Monika shrugged.

"Guess we're about to find out." Natsuki said as the screen faded back in.

* * *

 **"** **Could you explain why you think Monika's worst girl?"**

 **We'll get to that, reviewer. We'll get to that.**

 **In case anyone is wondering: Yes, I** _ **was**_ **using random chance to decide on whose word I would use. I also used a random number generator to decide on which word to use from the DDLC wiki. The die-eraser thing is also a reference to something I did to make a three-sided die. It's pretty effective honestly.**

 **By the way, quick question: What happens if there** _ **is**_ **a tie in the poem minigame? Does the game decide which route you go on by random chance now? Or does it default to a particular character or something?**


	4. Panty Theif Monika

**Just to run this by you all really quick, since nobody told me what the game would do with a tie, I decided to resolve it with a coin-flip. The result is that we're on the Natsuki route for the time being. If that is inaccurate, too bad, I've already written up the chapter. I also found a reddit post that said that if it's a tie between Sayori and Natsuki, it favors Natsuki. With that out of the way, let's get started.**

 ** **Edit: I have recently been informed that the poem minigame assigns point values to each word and, while the character they're assigned to gets the most points, the other characters still get points from it as well. I've redone the numbers, and apparently the poem the girls wrote should have resulted in them going down the _Sayori_ route. Just wanted to tell you all sorry, I made a mistake.****

* * *

*Scene opens on the clubroom.*  
Monika: "Hi again, MoNatSaYuri!"  
Monika: "Glad to see you didn't run away on us. Hahaha!"

"Well, we tried, but there's only two places in the whole game." Natsuki said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Nah, don't worry."

"Why is your skirt always blowing up?" Sayori asked, pointing to the girl on the screen.

"Because it's Monika, and she wants to show us her panties." Natsuki joked. "Well, assuming she's wearing any."

With an annoyed scowl, Monika quickly snapped her fingers before sending a smirk towards the pink-haired girl. "Join the club, why don't you?" Monika said, before Natsuki's hands darted between her legs.

"Monika, you could at least ask a girl out to dinner first!" Natsuki said, blushing furiously as the rest of the club starting chuckling. "I'm not the type to do this out of the blue."

MoNatSaYuri: "This might be a little strange for me, but I at least keep my word."  
Well, I'm back at the Literature Club.  
I was the last one to come in, so everyone else is already hanging out.

"'-To dry.'" Natsuki joked. "'There was a lot of rain this morning, and they forgot their umbrellas.'"

Yuri: "Thanks for keeping your promise, MoNatSaYuri."  
Yuri: "I hope this isn't too overwhelming of a commitment for you."  
Yuri: "Making you dive headfirst into literature when you're not accustomed to it…"

"'God, what were we thinking?'" Sayori said in an impersonation of Yuri. "'Why don't we just push you off a cliff?'"

Natsuki: "Oh, come on! Like he deserves any slack."  
Natsuki: "Sayori told me you didn't even want to join any clubs this year."  
Natsuki: "And last year, too!"  
Natsuki: "I don't know if you plan to just come here and hang out, or what…"  
Natsuki: "But if you don't take us seriously, then you won't see the end of it."

"I can't take you seriously on your best of days." Monika said. "No offense, but I feel like I'm being threatened by a cupcake."

Monika: "Natsuki, you certainly have a big mouth for someone who keeps her manga collection in the clubroom."

"Says the girl hiding her porn there." Natsuki said.

"I did not!" Monika yelled.

"Oh, right, sorry." Natsuki began. "It was the _player's_ porn, and you were just doing research, weren't you?"

"Shut up!"

Natsuki: "M-M-M…!"  
Natsuki finds herself stuck between saying "Monika" and "Manga"

"'Moniga!'" Natsuki yelled out. "'Manka! Manika! MoniMan!"

"'Those are _mangos_.'" Sayori said in her impersonation of Natsuki.

Natsuki: "Manga is literature!"  
Swiftly defeated, Natsuki plops back into her seat.

"'I think she popped.'" Sayori joked.

Sayori: "Don't worry, guys~"  
Sayori: "MoNatSaYuri always gives it his best as long as he's having fun."

"'I'm not having fun.'" Sayori said in the MoNatSaYuri voice.

Sayori: "He helps me with busywork without me even asking."

"'So you'll leave faster.'" Sayori said as Natsuki began chuckling, before switching over to an impression of her own voice. "'So let's help reinflate Natsuki.'"

"Okay, Sayori, Sayori," Natsuki said, placing a hand on her friend's shoulder. "I would love to turn this into an episode of 'Game Grump's Greatest Hits,' but we _kinda_ need to come up with our own jokes here, okay?"

"Okay." Sayori said.

Sayori: "Like cooking, cleaning my room…"  
Yuri: "How dependable…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Sayori, that's because your room is so messy it's distracting."

"'I'm pretty sure the stuffed animals created their own civilization at one point.'" Yuri joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "And you almost set your house on fire once."

"Oh yeah…" Sayori sighed. "That banana was too ripe."

Sayori: "Is that so… Ehehe…"

"'It's really hard to remember,'" Sayori began joking. "'Everything past the potato chips was a bit of a blur.'"

Yuri: "You two are really good friends, aren't you?"  
Yuri: "I might be a little jealous…"  
Sayori: "How come? You and MoNatSaYuri can become good friends too!"

"Oh, please, he's only good friends with his body pillow." Natsuki joked. "And she's attempted to break things off with him at least three times."

"… How did you know about that?" Sayori asked.

Yuri: "U-Um…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "S-Sayori-"

"Wait, who's it a body pillow of?" Natsuki asked.

"It's a mermaid dressed like a maid?" Sayori answered. "I think?"

"Oh, so he's a Mera kinda guy?" Natsuki asked before shrugging. "Personally, I'm more into Miia myself, but whatev."

"Wow I wish I knew what you were talking about." Monika said.

Sayori: "Hmm?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "…"  
As usual, Sayori seems oblivious to the weird situation she just put me into.  
Sayori: "Oh, oh! Yuri even brought you something today, you know~"  
Yuri: "W-Wait! Sayori…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Eh? Me?"  
Yuri: "Um… Not really…"  
Sayori: "Don't be shy!"  
Yuri: "It's really nothing…"

"'I got it online for five dollars.'" Yuri joked. "No, seriously, they sell a _literal_ nothing for five dollars on Amazon."

MoNatSaYuri: "What is it?"  
Yuri: "N-Never mind!"  
Yuri: "Sayori made it sound like a big deal when it's really not…"  
Yuri: "Uuuuh, what do I do…"  
Sayori: "Eh? I'm sorry, Yuri, I wasn't thinking…"  
I guess that means it's up to me to rescue this situation…

"Oh boy, it's Boy Blunder's time to shine." Natsuki snarked.

MoNatSaYuri: "Hey, don't worry about it."  
MoNatSaYuri: "First of all, I wasn't expecting anything in the first place."  
MoNatSaYuri: "So any nice gesture from you is a pleasant surprise."  
MoNatSaYuri: "It will make me happy no matter what."

"'My expectations literally could not be any lower.'" Natsuki joked. "'If anything, I'd be amazed if you somehow managed to disappoint me by giving me something stupid like a book!"

Yuri: "I-Is that so…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Yeah, I won't make it a big deal if you don't want it to be."  
Yuri: "Alright…"  
Yuri: "Well, here."

"She then takes off her panties and shoves them into our hands." Monika joked.

"That sounds like something you would do honestly." Yuri said, causing Monika to scowl.

"Welcome to the club." Monika said as she snapped her fingers.

"Oh, come on!" Yuri yelled, blushing as her hands went between her legs.

Yuri reaches into her bag and pulls out a book.  
Yuri: "I didn't want you to feel left out."  
Yuri: "So I picked out a book that I thought you might enjoy."  
Yuri: "It's a short read, so it should keep your attention, even if you don't usually read."

"'Wow, I expected nothing and I'm still disappointed.'" Natsuki joked.

Yuri: "And we could, you know…"  
Yuri: "Discuss it… If you wanted…"

"'During _sex_.'" Monika joked. "Wink wink, nudge nudge."

Th-This is…  
How is this girl accidentally being so cute?

"Maybe it's not accidental." Natsuki said. "I mean, I know accidental cute, I've lived it."

She even picked out a book she thinks I'll like, despite me not reading much…  
MoNatSaYuri: "Yuri, thank you! I'll definitely read this!"  
I enthusiastically take the book.

"Oh, I see." Natsuki began. "When the boobs give you something to read, it's like a gift from heaven, but when _I_ give you something to read, it's just 'Meh, okay, thanks.'"

"What do you care?" Yuri asked. "You didn't even want to bang him."

"It still pisses me off!"

Yuri: "Phew…"  
Yuri: "Well, you can read it at your own pace."  
Yuri: "I look forward to hearing what you think."

"'At long last, the curse is broken, I'm free!'" Sayori yelled in her Yuri voice.

"'Hey wait, this is Twilight!'" Natsuki said in the MoNatSaYuri voice. "'Take it back!'"

Now that everyone's settled in, I expected Monika to kick off some scheduled activities for the club.  
But that doesn't seem to be the case.

"'Instead, she's drilling us on synonyms and antonyms.'" Yuri joked.

"'Alright, maggots!'" Natsuki yelled in her impersonation of her club president. "'Remember, similes used the words 'like' or 'as.' Metaphors do not! For example, 'bull headed' is a metaphor! You understand!?'"

"'Color isn't spelled with a U, girls!'" Sayori yelled, following Natsuki's lead.

"'Sayori, in your last writing assignment, you used 'They're' as in 'They are' when you meant to use 'Their' as in 'It belongs to them!'" Monika yelled. "'Drop and give me twenty!'"

"Sir yes sir!" Sayori yelled before jumping to the floor. "One… Two… Three…"

"Sayori, I was joking." Monika sighed.

Sayori and Monika are having a cheery conversation in the corner.

"'Two, four, six, eight! With you we want to pro-cre-ate!'" Sayori and Monika recited, causing the other two girls to chuckle.

Yuri's face is already buried in a book.

"'Here lies Yuri…'" Natsuki began, before glancing at the purple haired girl. "Yuri, what's your last name?"

I can't help but notice her intense expression, like she was waiting for this chance.

"'Ehehe, finally, a chance to get my rocks off!'" Natsuki joked.

"'Boy, Natsuki's diary sure is interesting.'" Yuri joked.

Meanwhile, Natsuki's rummaging around in the closet.

"… Oh…" Monika sighed. "Oh, I get it, 'Natsuki's in the closet.' Natsuki's a lesbian, that's very funny."

"Hey, I'm not in the closet." Natsuki said before pounding her chest. "I am open and proud of my sexuality."

 **~Happy Pride Month, everyone.~**

*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*

"'Boy, I really wish someone would get the lights checked out.'" Sayori joked in the MoNatSaYuri voice.

Natsuki: "Ugh…!"  
I hear Natsuki utter an exasperated sigh from within the closet.  
She seems to be annoyed by something

"So, nothing out of the ordinary?" Yuri joked.

I approach her, in case she needs a hand.

"Or a foot." Sayori joked.

*Scene changes to outside the closet*  
MoNatSaYuri: "You looking for something in there?"  
Natsuki: "Freaking Monika…"

"'Monika's in the closet too?'" Sayori joked.

"No I'm not." Monika said. "I am a proud pan-sexual."

"You're a proud _moron-sexual_." Natsuki snarked.

Natsuki: "She never puts my stuff back in the right spot!"  
Natsuki: "What's the point in keeping your collection organized if someone else is just gonna mess it up?"  
Natsuki slides a bunch of stacked books and boxes across the shelf.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Manga…"  
Natsuki: "You read manga, right?"

"'I-o-only for the articles!'" Sayori joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "Ah-"  
MoNatSaYuri: "… Sometimes…"  
Manga is one of those things where you can't admit you're really into it until you figure out where the other person stands.

"Modern day problems. Am I right?" Natsuki asked.

MoNatSaYuri: "… How did you know, anyway?"

"A little pixy snuck into my room last night and told me." Natsuki snarked. "Just wanted to make sure that wasn't a hallucination."

Natsuki: "I heard you bring it up at some point."  
Natsuki: "Besides, it's kinda written on your face."  
What's that supposed to mean…?

"That it's _literally_ written on your face." Monika joked. "You don't have many defining features, so people just use you as a white-board."

"Last night I drew a bunny." Sayori joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "I-I see…"

"That's impressive, cause your eyes are drawn on." Natsuki joked. "Poorly, might I add."

There's a lone volume of manga amidst a stack of various books on the side of one of the shelves.

"Oh, by the way, that reminds me." Sayori began. "Is it pronounced manga or manga?"

"The first one." Natsuki said.

Curious, I pull it out of the stack.  
Natsuki: " _There_ it is!"  
Natsuki snatches it out of my hand.  
She then turns to a box of manga and slips the volume right into the middle of the rest.  
Natsuki: "Aah, much better!"  
Natsuki: "Seeing a box set with one book missing is probably the most irritating sight in the world."

"Monika's face?" Yuri asked.

"Okay, _one_ of the most irritating." Natsuki said.

"I will destroy _everything_ you love." Monika sieved.

MoNatSaYuri: "I know that feel…"  
I get a closer look at the box set she's admiring.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Parfait Girls…?"  
It's a series I've never heard of in my life.  
That probably means it's either way out of my demographic, or it's simply terrible.

" _ **What?**_ " Natsuki growled before Monika shook her head.

"No no no, we are _not_ doing that gag again." Monika stated.

Natsuki: "If you're gonna judge, you can go do it through the glass on that door."  
She points to the classroom door.

"'Or better yet, the glass on that window!'" Natsuki yelled.

MoNatSaYuri: "H-Hey, I wasn't judging anything…!"

"'Then are your pants on fire because you spilled gasoline on them?'" Natsuki asked.

"Huh, I though I smelled something burning." Yuri joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "I didn't even say anything."  
Natsuki: "It was the tone of your voice."

"'And your bad habit to saying your narration out loud.'" Natsuki added.

Natsuki: "But I'll tell you one thing, MoNatSaYuri."  
Natsuki: "Consider this a lesson straight from the Literature Club: Don't Judge a book by its cover!"

"'It's I before E, except after C.'" Yuri said.

Natsuki: "In fact-"  
Natsuki pulls out the first volume of Parfait Girls from the box.  
Natsuki: "I'm gonna show you exactly why!"

"She then opens the manga to reveal a gun hidden inside of it." Yuri joked.

"Either that or a horror manga that lures in unsuspecting readers with the appeal of cute girls before turning into an utter tragedy." Monika added.

"Eh, that would never sell." Natsuki said. "I mean, why do you think our game is free?"

She shoves the book right into my hands.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ah…"  
I stare at the cover.

"'From this angle, the girls look even more provocative.'" Yuri joked.

It features four girls in colorful attire striking animated feminine poses.

"Wow, an _animated_ cover?" Sayori gasped. "That's _bound_ to draw in readers!"

It's… Exceedingly 'Moe.'

"What's 'moe?'" Sayori asked.

"That's a good question." Natsuki said. "I'll get back to you on that when the Otakus finally agree on a definition."

Natsuki: "Don't just stand there!"

"'The anime's not gonna make itself!'" Natsuki joked.

"'I thought this was the Literature Club.'" Sayori said in their MoNatSaYuri voice.

"'Anime is literature!'" Natsuki joked further.

MoNatSaYuri: "Uwa-"  
Natsuki grabs my arm and pulls me out of the closet.  
She then takes a seat against the wall, beneath the windowsills.  
She pats on the ground next to her, signaling me to sit there.  
*Scene changes to Clubroom*  
MoNatSaYuri: "Wouldn't chairs be more comfortable…?"

"You mean we aren't in one?" Yuri asked. "Presentation kinda threw me off."

I take my seat.

"'And Monika's.'" Natsuki joked.

Natsuki: "Chairs wouldn't work."  
Natsuki: "We can't read at the same time like that."

"My route would beg to differ." Yuri pointed out.

MoNatSaYuri: "Eh? Why's that?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ah… I guess it's easier to be close together like this…"  
Natsuki: "-!"  
Natsuki: "D-don't just say that!"  
Natsuki: "You'll make me feel weird about it!"

"So, Natsuki, what was that you were saying about not being interested in him?" Monika asked.

"Look, if I started hitting on Yuri or something, she'd feel uncomfortable too." Natsuki argued.

"… Okay, fair point." Monika sighed.

Natsuki crosses her arms and scootches an inch away from me.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Sorry…"  
I didn't exactly expect to be sitting this close to her, either…  
Not that I can say it's a particularly bad thing.  
I open the book.  
It's only a few seconds before Natsuki once again inches closer, reclaiming the additional space while she hopes I won't notice.  
I can feel her peering over my shoulder, much more eager to begin reading than I am.  
Natsuki: "Wow, how long has it been since I read the beginning…?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Hm?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "You don't go back and flip through the older volumes every now and then?"  
Natsuki: "Not really."

"Natsuki, how could you!" Yuri began joking. "As a fan of manga, you should _breath_ those illustrations, you should live by the narration! How could you possibly forsake the define goddesses that reside on that paper!?"

"… Yuri, it's a manga, not the _bible_." Natsuki stated. "I'm not one of _those_ losers."

Natsuki: "Maybe sometimes after I've already finished the series."  
Natsuki: "Hey, are you paying attention?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Uh…"

"'Of course I am, Yuri!'" Sayori began. "'Wait, when did we get out of the closet?'"

I am, but nothing's really happened yet, so I can talk at the same time.

"You've been on the first page for like ten lines now." Natsuki said.

It looks like it's about a bunch of friends in high school.  
Typical slice-of-life affair.

"Shows what you know, they're a harem." Natsuki said. "First chapter's them getting ready to have a four-way."

I kinda grew out of these, since it's rare for the writing to be entertaining enough to make up for the lack of plot.  
MoNatSaYuri: "So…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "What should I expect from this?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Is there going to be a plot?"

"Well, in about ten pages, one of them is going to strip naked in defiance of the school dress code." Natsuki began. "She'll stay like that for the rest of the volume. At the end of the first chapter we learn that all of these girls are long lost cousins, which puts a damper on their orgy plans. The blonde's going to take over for her dad fighting against the aliens, and the ginger's gonna become god by the end of the volume. Though before we get to that point, there's gonna be a mystery plot about one of the girls stealing the group's panties."

"Wait, really?" Sayori asked.

"What? No. Of course not." Natsuki said before pausing. "Well, okay, the last one happens, but it doesn't really go anywhere."

Natsuki: "Well, obviously!"

"The plot is an attempt by the resident school bitch to expose the harem's shenanigans and break them up." Natsuki said. "Surprisingly, I'm not joking… Sorta."

Natsuki: "You think I would enjoy something that didn't have a plot?"

"Well, let's see…" Monika began. "A Channel, Kill Me Baby, Yuru Camp, Sakura Trick, Lucky Star… Am I missing anything?"

"Point taken." Natsuki sighed.

Natsuki: "I mean…"  
Natsuki: "Well, I guess I know what you're saying."  
Natsuki: "A lot of the beginning's about simple things…"  
Natsuki: "Like there's a really funny chapter where they're obsessed with a guy at the ice cream shop..."  
Natsuki: "But that just helps you get to know the characters!"

"And yourself." Natsuki added. "Me and Minori realized we were lesbians at the exact same time."

Natsuki: "And besides, it's still entertaining!"  
Natsuki: "But later on, there's all kinds of drama…"  
Natsuki: "Like when they get into all their backstories, and when some of the romance starts to happen…"  
Natsuki: "That's really what makes it so good."  
Natsuki: "There are so many touching parts."

"Like Minori bonding with… Actually, no, I shouldn't say anything." Natsuki said. "Spoilers. _So_ many spoilers."

MoNatSaYuri: "Ah, is that so?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "It sounds like you really know what you're talking about."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Maybe I underestimated you."

"Well, I mean, you _did_ , but for totally different reasons." Natsuki stated.

Natsuki: "Ehehe."  
Natsuki: "… Hey, wait!"

"'Upon closer inspection, these are loafers!'" Sayori said in an imitation of Natsuki's voice.

Natsuki: "What's _that_ supposed to mean?!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Uwa-"

"'OH-WAH- _AH_ - _AH_ - _AH_!'" Sayori screeched.

Natsuki gives me a little shove.

"Emphasis on _little_." Yuri joked, before Natsuki gave her a little shove.

MoNatSaYuri: "I just meant that I haven't yet seen you at your full power…"

"'This isn't even my _final_ form.'" Natsuki joked.

Natsuki: "Hmph. Good save."

"'I can't stay mad at an idiot who likes Dragon Ball.'" Natsuki said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Ah… This chapter seems like it's about baking."

"It's about making heroine, you idiot." Natsuki joked.

"Okay, now I _need_ to read this manga, because I can't figure out if you're joking or not." Yuri said.

MoNatSaYuri: "This is just a guess, but is there a lot of baking in this manga?"  
Natsuki: "Well-"

"'There is that World Food Tournament they did in the last volume.'" Natsuki said.

"See, I can't tell if that's a joke or if that actually happens." Yuri said.

Natsuki pauses for a moment, as if she doesn't want to admit something.  
Natsuki: "… Yeah."  
Natsuki: "Why does that matter?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "It doesn't, I was just curious…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Since you enjoy baking too, right?"  
Natsuki: "That's-"  
Natsuki: "Just a coincidence!"  
Natsuki: "I just happened to get into baking around the same time I got this manga."  
Natsuki: "Like I would ever get into anything because it's in a manga."

"Let's hope not." Yuri began. "Imagine all the street brawls she would get into after reading shonen."

"Yeah, that's what my dad's for." Natsuki joked.

Natsuki: "I feel bad for anyone that impressionable."

"Hey, I've wanted to try winter camping ever since I finished that one anime you showed me." Sayori said.

"I-I didn't mean it like that, Sayori." Natsuki stuttered.

Natsuki: "Ahaha!"  
Definitely not a coincidence…  
I guess that explains Natsuki's interest in baking.  
Still, of all the hobbies to pick up from a manga, that's definitely one of the better ones.

"Yeah, I mean, imagine if she picked up grabbing our boobs or something." Yuri joked.

"Or stealing our panties." Sayori began, before glancing over at Monika. "Like a _certain perverted someone_." Monika once again snapped her fingers, and after a moment, Sayori began blushing.

Not to mention she's really good at it, so who am I to judge?  
*Scene changes to CG of Natsuki sitting under the windowsill.*  
…

"Oh my god, finally." Yuri sighed. "At long last, we've gotten a _visual_ in this visual novel."

"Why didn't this come up earlier?" Sayori asked. "I completely forgot we were sitting here."

We read on for a few more minutes.  
I've finished a couple of chapters at this point.  
MoNatSaYuri: "…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Are you sure this isn't boring for you?"

"'Nah, seeing you blush and then realizing you're probably on a panty shot is way more fun than the book.'" Natsuki joked.

Natsuki: "It's not!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Even though you're just watching me read?"  
Natsuki: "Well…!"  
Natsuki: "I'm… Fine with that."  
MoNatSaYuri: "If you say so…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "… I think it's fun sharing something you like with someone else."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I always get excited when I convince any of my friends to pick up a series I enjoy."

"Aw, he does care for me." Sayori said.

"Wait, 'Friends?'" Natsuki read. "I thought he was a shut in."

"Oh yeah, didn't Sayori convince him to join so that he'd have friends?" Yuri asked.

"Well, he does have a body pillow." Monika noted.

"And a few figurines." Sayori added.

"'Hey, Rem, you should really check out this anime called KonoSuba!'" Natsuki joked. "'I think you'll really like it. And tell Miku to give me back my Miss Monochrome album.'"

"'Hey, Goku, you're gonna love this Superman guy.'" Yuri joked.

"'You know what video game you should try, Samus?'" Monika began. "'The Legend of Zelda.'"

MoNatSaYuri: "You know what I mean."  
Natsuki: "…?"

"'What's 'excitement?''" Natsuki joked. "'I only know two emotions, angry and not-angry.'"

MoNatSaYuri: "Hm?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "You don't?"  
Natsuki: "Um…"  
Natsuki: "That's not…"  
Natsuki: "Well, I wouldn't really know."  
MoNatSaYuri: "… What do you mean?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Don't you share your manga with your friends?"  
Natsuki: "Could you not rub it in?"  
Natsuki: "Jeez…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ah… Sorry…"  
Natsuki: "Hmph."  
Natsuki: "Like I could ever get my friends to read this…"

"Sure you could." Yuri said. "All you need to do is make up the most inane story imaginable, throw in some stuff that actually happened, and see them read it to figure out which is which."

Natsuki: "They just think manga is for kids."  
Natsuki: "I can't even bring it up without them all being all like…"  
Natsuki: "'Eh? You still haven't grown out of that yet?'"  
Natsuki: "Makes me want to punch them in the face…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Urgh, I know those kinds of people…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Honestly, it takes a lot of effort to find friends who don't judge, much less friends who are also into it…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I'm already kind of a loser, so I guess I gravitated towards the other losers over time."

"Wait, what?" Sayori asked.

"That was a sweet moment." Yuri said.

"Yeah, _was_." Natsuki snarked. "Until he opened his mouth."

MoNatSaYuri: "But it's probably harder for someone like you…"

"And we're back to sweet." Natsuki said.

Natsuki: "Hm."  
Natsuki: "Yeah, that's pretty accurate."  
 _… Wait, which part?_

"The first and the last." Natsuki said. "But Sayori is _not_ a loser like you."

Natsuki: "I mean, I feel like I can't even keep it in my own room…"  
Natsuki: "I don't even know what my dad would do if he found this."  
Natsuki: "At least it's safe here in the clubroom."  
Natsuki: "'Cept Monika was kind of a jerk about it…"

"You have _no_ idea." Natsuki began, slowing shifting into a growl as she leaned towards the girl in question.

"I said I was sorry, didn't I?" Monika asked.

Natsuki: "Ugh, I just can't win, can I?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Well, it paid off in the end, didn't it?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I mean, here I am, reading it."

"And you someone got me to buy three different manga when we last went to the book store." Yuri said.

"How are those, by the way." Natsuki asked.

"First too were amazing, third one was kinda dull."

Natsuki: "Well, it's not like that solves any of my problems."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Maybe…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "But at least your enjoying yourself, right?"  
Natsuki: "-"  
Natsuki: "…"  
Natsuki: "… So?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ahaha."  
Natsuki: "Jeez, that's enough!"  
Natsuki: "Are you gonna keep reading or what?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Yeah, yeah…"  
I flip the page.

"'Suddenly, there's an explosion.'" Natsuki said.

"Wait, do you mean in the story, or did the manga just blow up?" Sayori asked.

"Whichever one's funnier."

Suddenly, Natsuki starts laughing.  
Natsuki: "Ahahaha!"  
Natsuki: "I totally forgot that happens!"  
Natsuki puts her finger on one of the panels.  
Natsuki: "Minori is my favorite character."  
Natsuki: "You always feel a little bad for her, since she's so unlucky."  
Natsuki: "But it gets especially bad when-"  
Natsuki: "Uu…"  
Natsuki: "I shouldn't be talking about that yet!"  
Natsuki: "Just finish this chapter!"  
*Scene changes back to classroom.*  
Natsuki's voice sparkles with excitement.

"'No, wait, she just ate a pixie.'" Sayori joked.

It's a stark contrast to her usual bossy tone.  
But if she's not used to sharing her favorite manga with her friends, I can understand why.  
It's hard to express in words the feeling you get when connecting with someone like that.  
And being able to provide that for Natsuki, for whom it's a rare experience…  
The thought makes me smile a little to myself.  
Monika: "Okay, everyone!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Eh?"

"'It's time to die!'" Natsuki pretended to yell as Monika.

"No, no, we still have at least a week to go." Monika said.

Monika: "Are you all ready with today's poems?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "…"  
Natsuki: "Oh, come on!"  
Natsuki: "Could your timing be any worse?"  
Monika: "Sorry~!"  
Monika: "I just need to make sure we have enough time."

"Oh, hey, that reminds me, what time are we at?" Natsuki asked.

"We have been recording…" Monika said slowly as she looked to the side before her eyes widened. "Wow, for a little over an _hour_."

"Wanna call it a session?" Natsuki asked.

"Please, I'm not sure how much longer I can sit here." Yuri said as she stood up. As the group got out of their chairs, Natsuki went to save the game.

"Okay, see you guys tomorrow then." Sayori said as she hopped out of her chair before the screen began to fade to black.

"Hey, uh, Monika, can we…" Natsuki began. "Can we have our panties back?"

"No." Monika said.

"… Perv."


	5. Metaphore Get About It

"What's up _bitches_!" Natsuki yelled into the camera as the four girls once again sat around the computer. "It's ya girl, Buffsuki69, and I'm joined with Yuri…"

"Hello everyone." Yuri mumbled, raising a hand to the camera.

"Sayori…"

"Kon'nichiwa!" Sayori said.

"And The Wicked Witch of the West!"

As the two other girls began laughing, Monika heaved out an annoyed sigh as she snapped her fingers. She glanced over at Natsuki, only to see the girl smirking confidently at the brunette. "Haha, nice try, Monika." Natsuki began. "But I expected such an act, and as such, I have come prepared with a _second_ pair of panties!"

With a dull look, Monika snapped her fingers again, causing Natsuki's confident smirk to fade away. "Well shit, guess I should have seen that coming." Natsuki commented, before looking back at the camera. "Anyway, welcome back, everyone, to Doki Doki Literature Club."

"When we last left off, we had a kinda-sorta-almost-nearly sweet moment between MoNatSaYuri and in-game Natsuki." Sayori said. "And we're finally getting to the part where we share our poems."

"Yay." Yuri said without the slightest hint of enthusiasm. "We now return you to your irregularly scheduled terrible idea."

Monika: "I just need to make sure we have enough time."  
Monika: "Though you look pretty cozy over there. Ahaha!"  
Natsuki: "Eh…?"  
Natsuki: "A-Ah!"  
Natsuki suddenly notices how close she's gotten to me.

"'I was wondering why it smelled like Doritos and Gatorade.'" Natsuki said. "'It's been making me hungry."

She hastily slides herself a good twelve inches away from me.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Alright…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Guess I'll stop here for now."

"Wow, short episode." Sayori said. "We'll see you all next week, que the outro!"

"Sayori, I don't have an outro." Natsuki said. "Outro music costs money, and I don't have that."

I close the book and hand it towards Natsuki.  
Natsuki: "You're just giving it back…?"  
Natsuki: "Don't you want to know what happens?"

"After the stuff Natsuki said in the last video, _more than anything_." Yuri said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Ah… Yeah, but…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Monika just said-"  
Natsuki: "Don't be dumb."

"'A challenge for you, I know.'" Natsuki quipped.

Natsuki: "Just take it home with you."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Eh?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "…Is that really alright?"  
I say that mostly because I really didn't plan on using my spare time to read this…  
Natsuki: "Well, of course."  
Natsuki: "It would take forever to finish if you didn't take it home."  
Natsuki: "Just finish that one before tomorrow, so we can start the next one."

"'Be sure to tuck it in at night, and don't feed it after midnight.'" Sayori said, impersonating her friend.

"So why exactly do you want to keep reading it with him if you're not into him?" Yuri asked.

"Because as far as I know, only two people in the _entire school_ are into manga, including me." Natsuki said.

Natsuki: "And if it gets bent, I'll kill you."

"Yeah, right." Yuri chuckled. "What are you gonna do, choke out his shins?"

"Yuri, you're in perfect strangling distance, remember that." Natsuki responded.

MoNatSaYuri: "By tomorrow…?"

"'Oh, geez, it took us like _two years_ to read this far.'" Sayori joked.

I only got partway through the volume so far.  
I might fall behind on some shows if I try to get through this…  
But I suppose that's a necessary sacrifice in exchange for seeing Natsuki's enthusiastic face.

"Aw, if I wasn't as gay as they get, I'd hug you, MoNatSaYuri." Natsuki grinned.

Or am I more scared of what will happen if I _don't_ finish it…?

"You should be." Natsuki said with a sinister smirk.

"Please, what's she gonna do, back a batch of menacing cupcakes at you?" Monika quipped.

MoNatSaYuri: "Alright, then!"  
I stand up.

"Oh, right, we were sitting down." Yuri said. "Once again, distinct lack of _visuals_ in this visual novel."

I return to where I put my stuff and carefully slip the book into my bag.

"'It gets folded in half along the way.'" Sayori joked.

"'It drowns in the greases of old pizzas and burgers.'" Yuri added.

"'Suddenly, it bursts into flames.'" Monika continued.

"Guys, stop, please!" Natsuki cried out. "You'll give me nightmares!"

Monika: "By the way, did you remember to write a poem last night?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Y-Yeah…"

"'I put words to paper, at least.'" Sayori said.

My relaxation ends.  
I can't believe I agreed to do something so embarrassing.  
I couldn't really find much inspiration, since I've never really done this before.  
Monika: "Well, now that everyone's ready, why don't you find someone to share with?"  
Sayori: "I can't wait~!"  
Sayori and Monika enthusiastically pull out their poems.

"'They do it so fast, they catch fire.'" Natsuki joked.

"'The paper gets torn to shreds and confetti rains everywhere." Yuri joked.

Sayori's is on a wrinkled sheet of loose leaf torn from a spiral notebook.  
On the other hand, Monika wrote hers in a composition notebook.  
I can already see Monika's pristine handwriting from where I sit.

"'Why, if I didn't know any better, I'd assume she just printed it out.'" Natsuki joked.

"Hey, you told me to stop with the Game Grump references." Sayori said.

"Oh, did they make that joke already?" Natsuki asked.

"That's what you get for tackling this game so late." Yuri said. "All the good jokes were taken."

Natsuki and Yuri reluctantly comply as well, reaching into their bags.  
I do the same myself.  
*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*

"'See the lights are still on the blink.'" Sayori joked. "'We should really call someone about that.'"

Who should I show my poem to first?  
[Sayori]  
[Natsuki]  
[Yuri]  
[Monika]

"Okay, guys, you ready?" Natsuki said as she reached across the desk, to which everyone nodded. Natsuki held up another make-shift die, made out of two eraser caps cut at the bottom and glued together with numbers written on each side. "Let's just go as it's laid out." After clasping her hands around the orange die and shaking them around, Natsuki dropped the die onto the desk, looking down at the number. "And that's a one, so we're going with Sayori."

I'm definitely most comfortable sharing it with Sayori first.  
She's my good friend, after all.  
*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*

"'Man, reading these poems is gonna be really hard if the lights keep flickering like that.'" Sayori joked.

"And that's a problem _why_?" Natsuki asked.

Sayori: "…"  
Sayori: "This is a good poem, MoNatSaYuri."  
Sayori: "Are you sure it's your first time?"

"I mean, technically speaking, no." Yuri said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Of course…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "It's not that good."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Am I the kind of guy who would be writing poems in his spare time?"

"No, but you strike me as the type of loser who'd write song lyrics in middle school." Natsuki said.

Sayori: "Ehehe, I guess you're right~"  
Sayori: "But that's why it impressed me!"  
Sayori: "Well, to be honest…"  
Sayori: "I was afraid that you wouldn't do it seriously…"  
Sayori: "Or that you wouldn't write one at all."  
Sayori: "I'm really happy just that you wrote one."

"'Ur-hehe-Yeah, I totally wrote a poem.'" Natsuki joked. "'Totally, I didn't just pull random words out of a dictionary and put them on paper in a semi-coherent order or anything. Yep, I _def_ wrote a real poem."

Sayori: "It just reminds me of how you're really a part of the club now~"  
(Not to mention the fact that I'm standing in front of you in the clubroom…?)

"Hey, to be fair, _several_ people stand in front of us in the clubroom." Monika said.

"Yeah, like that guy we called to fix the lights." Sayori joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "Er… Well, of course."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I'm not really into it yet, but that doesn't mean I'll break my promise."  
Sayori: "See?"  
Sayori: "It's like I said before, MoNatSaYuri…"  
Sayori: "Deep down, you're not selfish at all, you know?"  
Sayori: "Trying new things like this for other people…"  
Sayori: "That's something that only really good people do!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Thanks… Sayori."  
… I'm not sure if Sayori sees the full picture of my motive here.  
Then again…  
I can't deny that she's part of the reason I joined.

"Blah, I just imagined MoNatSaYuri baning Sayori." Natsuki said, sticking out her tongue in disgust.

"Makes you jealous?" Monika asked.

"… Kinda, yeah." Natsuki admitted, causing a bit of a chill to run up Sayori's spine.

Knowing how much this means to her and all…  
Sayori: "Yeah."  
Sayori: "And I'm gonna make sure you have lots of fun here, okay?"

"Oh sweet, sweet Sayori…" Yuri sighed, shaking her head. "You're too good for this world."

Sayori: "That will be my way of thanking you~"

"What's that thing that keeps showing up at the end of her sentences?" Natsuki asked.

"It's a tilde," Yuri began explaining. "It's basically used to show a change in pitch or tone."

"I always read it as a sing-songy voice." Sayori said.

"' _That will be my way of than-king you~_ '" Natsuki sang in an imitation of Sayori's voice.

MoNatSaYuri: "Alright, I'm going to hold you to that, then."  
Sayori: "Yay~"

"'Overwhelming responsibility that I have absolutely no way of living up to!'" Sayori cheered. "'How _fun!_ "

Sayori: "Now you'll read my poem too, right?"  
Sayori: "Don't worry, I'm really bad at this."  
Sayori: "Ehehe…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "We'll see about that."  
*A piece of paper appears on the screen, showing Sayori's poem.*  
Dear Sunshine  
The way you glow through my blinds in the morning  
It makes me feel like you missed me.  
Kissing my forehead to help me out of bed.  
Making me rub the sleepy from my eyes.  
Are you asking me to come out and play?  
Are you trusting me to wish away a rainy day?  
I look above. The sky is blue.  
It's a secret, but I trust you too.  
If it wasn't for you, I could sleep forever.  
But I'm not mad.  
I want breakfast.

[Click outside poem area to continue]

"Sayori, I said it before, and I'll say it again:" Natsuki began, looking over at her friend. "How could you write something like _this_ and say 'I'm really bad at this.'"

"Yeah, Sayori," Yuri added. "This is actually pretty good. It's a great usage of personification and metaphor."

"Oh, come on, guys, it wasn't _that_ good." Sayori said.

"It makes me jealous." Natsuki said. "This thing is better than my poems ever will be."

"You're just saying that." Sayori said.

"No, seriously, how are you this good?" Natsuki asked, before clicking off the poem.

MoNatSaYuri: "Sayori…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "This is just a guess, but…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Did you wait until this morning to write this?"  
Sayori: "No!"  
Sayori: "J-Just a little bit!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "You can't answer 'just a little bit' to a yes or no question…"

"'Yeah I can.'" Sayori said. "'I couldn't figure out what to write until 1 AM. That's morning and night at the same time.'"

Sayori: "I forgot to do it last night…"

"And you wrote it with such little time?" Natsuki asked. "How are you so good at this, seriously?"

MoNatSaYuri: "Well, at least that makes me feel a little better about myself…"  
Sayori: "Don't be mean!"  
Sayori: "I still tried my best…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ah, yeah…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I didn't mean to say it was a bad poem."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I came out nice… or, how should I put this…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "It sound just like you."  
Sayori: "Really?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Yeah."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Especially that last line…"  
Sayori: "I made eggs and toast!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Even though you were late to school…?"  
Sayori: "It's bad to skip breakfast!"

"Oh, come on, it's not that bad." Natsuki said. "I only have breakfast, like, once a month."

"How are you still alive?" Yuri asked.

"Maybe I'm not. Dun-dun- _duuuun._ " Natsuki joked.

Sayori: "I get all cranky…"

"Okay, _now_ Natsuki's starting to make sense." Yuri joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "Well, I guess there's no point in arguing…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Anyway, thanks for showing me."  
Sayori: "Ehehe~"  
Sayori: "This was so much fun."

"Well, good to know that _someone's_ happy to be here." Natsuki said.

"Oh, don't worry, past me, it'll stop being fun _real_ soon." Sayori joked.

Sayori: "Monika's the best!"

A moment of silence passed over the club members, and Monika looked between the three girls with a cocked eyebrow, before gesturing to the screen with the line waiting to be read. "Well?" Monika asked. "What are you guys waiting for? Aren't you gonna read the line?"

MoNatSaYuri: "Ah..yeah."

"Hey, don't just ignore that line!" Monika said.

"What line?" Natsuki asked. "I don't know what you're talking about, M."

"You-you…" Monika stuttered, before heaving out a sigh. "Never mind."

Sayori: "But next time, I won't forget."  
Sayori: "And I'm gonna write the best poem ever!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Well, I guess I look forward to it."  
*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*

"'I've also been taking ninja classes in my free time, see!'" Sayori joked.

Who should I show my poem to next?  
[Natsuki]  
[Yuri]  
[Monika]

"Alright, next up is…" Natsuki began, before dropping the makeshift die once again. "Yuri."

*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*  
Yuri: "…"

"'Oh, why hello, I didn't see you there.'" Yuri said.

"Course not, the lights keep going out." Sayori joked.

Yuri "Mm…"

"'I'm pretty sure the word you're trying to read is 'marshmallow.'" Natsuki joked.

Yuri: "…"  
Yuri stares at the poem.

"'Maybe if I stare at this piece of paper long enough, people will think I'm reading.'" Sayori joked.

A minute passes, more than enough time for her to finish reading.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Um…"  
Yuri: "Oh!"

"' _Literature_ club! Now I get it!'" Monika yelled in an impersonation of Yuri.

Yuri: "S-Sorry…!"  
Yuri: "I forgot to start speaking…"

"'You lowly earthlings can't pick up on my telepathic broadcasts.'" Natsuki joked.

Yuri: "U-Um!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "It's fine, don't force yourself."  
Yuri: "I'm not…"  
Yuri: "I just need to put my thoughts into words."  
Yuri: "Hold on…"

"'The mouth and the brain haven't exactly been on speaking terms lately.'" Yuri joked.

Yuri: "…Okay."  
Yuri: "This is your first time writing a poem, right?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Er, yeah…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Why do you ask?"

"'Because you just handed me a picture of a dog.'" Natsuki joked, causing the rest of the club to burst into laughter. "'I don't think you _quite_ understand how this works.'"

"'Oh, _that's_ where I put that!'" Monika laughed. "'No wonder Sayori liked it so much.'"

Yuri: "I'm just making sure."  
Yuri: "I guessed that it might be after reading through it."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ah, so it's that bad."  
Yuri: "No!"

"'It's my favorite breed of dog.'" Yuri joked. "'I love dalmatians.'"

Yuri: "…Did I just raise my voice…?"  
Yuri: "Uu, I'm so sorry…"  
Yuri buries her face in her hands.  
I couldn't help but notice that it's been several minutes and we really haven't gotten anywhere.  
It might take Yuri a while to get used to new people…  
MoNatSaYuri: "It's fine, I really didn't notice."

"'Though I think someone in the next hemisphere might have.'" Monika joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "What were you saying?"  
Yuri: "Right…um…"  
Yuri: "It's just that there are specific writing habits that are usually typical of new writers."  
Yuri: "And having been through that myself, I kind of learned to pick up on them."  
Yuri: "I think the most noticeable thing I recognize in new writers is that they try to make their style very deliberate."  
Yuri: "In other words, they tend to pick a writing style separate from the topic matter, and they form-fit the two together."

"I'd like to form-fit to you, if you know what I mean." Natsuki joked.

"No, I don't know what you mean." Yuri said. "Is that an innuendo? Are you inviting me to have sex? Or are you saying you want me to wear you like a bodysuit?"

"Hey, give me a break, There's not a lot to joke on here." Natsuki said.

Yuri: "The end result is that both the style and the expressiveness are weakened."  
Once Yuri finds her train of thought, it's as if her demeanor totally changes.  
Her stammering is completely gone, and she sounds like an expert.  
Yuri: "Of course, that's not something you can be blamed for."  
Yuri: "There's so many different skills and techniques that go into writing even a simple poem."  
Yuri: "Not just finding them and building them, but getting them to work together is probably the most challenging part."  
Yuri: "It might take you some time, but it all comes with practice, and learning by example, and trying new things."  
Yuri: "I also hope that everyone else in the club gives you valuable feedback."  
Yuri: "Natsuki can be a little bit biased, though…"

"Stones and glasshouses, babe." Natsuki said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Biased? How?"  
Yuri: "U-Um…"

"'Crap, crap, where's my script for this?'" Natsuki joked.

Yuri: "Well…"  
Yuri: "Never mind."  
Yuri: "I shouldn't be talking about people like that…"  
Yuri: "Sorry…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "It's fine."  
I'm not sure if Yuri is apologizing to herself, to me, or to Natsuki.

"If it's that last one, apology accepted." Natsuki commented.

MoNatSaYuri: "Do you mind if I read your poem now?"  
Yuri: "Please do!"  
Yuri: "I'd love to share my thought process behind it…"  
Yuri smiles dreamily, as if that's a rare opportunity for her.  
Which itself is kind of funny…  
…After all, isn't this supposed to be a literature club?

"Well, yeah, it's _supposed_ to be." Natsuki said, sending a scowl over at Monika. "But _one of us_ didn't get the memo."

*A piece of paper appears on the screen, showing Yuri's poem.*  
Ghost Under the Light.  
The tendrils of my hair illuminate beneath the amber glow.  
Bathing.   
It must be this one.  
The last remaining streetlight to have withstood the test of time.  
the last yet to be replaced by the sickening blue-green hue of the future.  
I bathe. Calm; breathing air of the present but living in the past.  
The light flickers.   
I flicker back.

"… Yep, still don't get it." Natsuki said.

"God, what was I thinking when I wrote it again?" Yuri muttered. "It's been so long… Um… Okay, remember how you said Eagles Can Fly was about giving up?"

"Yeah?"

"Kinda the same thing here." Yuri said.

"So you two picked the exact same theme for your poems on the exact same day?" Monika asked.

"Hey, great minds think alike." Natsuki shrugged.

Yuri: "…"  
Yuri: "I…I'm sorry I have such terrible handwriting!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "What?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I wasn't thinking that at all…"  
Yuri: "But it took you a long time to read…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ah-"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Well, I just don't read script very often…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I actually think your handwriting is pretty."  
Yuri: "Eh?"  
Yuri: "That's…a relief…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Also, I liked the poem."

"Well, I didn't." Natsuki said, causing Yuri to roll her eyes. "The symbolism was _way_ too vague, to the point where the poem's entire meaning just flew over my head."

MoNatSaYuri: "Even though it's short, it was really descriptive."  
Yuri: "It wasn't too short?"  
Yuri: "I usually write longer poems."

"Actually, if it went on a little longer, it might have had a chance to make its meaning more clear." Natsuki commented.

MoNatSaYuri: "Not at all."  
Yuri: "I'm…really glad you like it."  
Yuri: "I'll be honest…"  
Yuri: "Since it's our first time sharing, I wanted to write something a little more mild."  
Yuri: "Something easy to digest, I suppose."

"Well, thanks for being considerate, but we don't normally eat paper." Sayori joked.

"Dude, you kidding? That's stuff's delicious!" Natsuki joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "Are you into ghosts, Yuri?"

"'Why, yes, I'm actually dating one right now.'" Natsuki joked.

Yuri: "Huhu."  
Yuri: "Actually, the story isn't about a ghost at all, MoNatSaYuri."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Really?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I must have totally missed the point."

"You see, this is what I'm talking about." Natsuki said. "Your symbolism was so vague it almost wasn't even there at all. I can see it now that I know it's there, but I can't know it's there if I can't see it, you know?"

"Well… I guess that makes sense." Yuri said.

Yuri: "Well, I suppose you did only glance over it, after all…"

"I thought he took a long time to read it?" Monika asked.

"'Maybe if I stare at this paper long enough, people will think I'm reading.'" Natsuki joked.

Yuri: "But remember that poets often express their own thoughts, feelings, and experiences in their works."  
Yuri: "They usually do more than tell a simple story, or paint a picture."  
Yuri: "In this case, perhaps the subject of the poem is only being symbolically compared to a ghost."

"Oh, I see now." Natsuki began. "You're trying to say you feel dead inside, right?"

"… That… Isn't entirely inaccurate." Yuri muttered.

Yuri: "Lingering in her last remaining place of comfort, unable to let go of the past."  
Yuri: "And soon to be left with nothing…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "… That's a lot more solemn, putting it that way."

"I absolutely refuse to believe this idiot knows a word like 'solemn.'" Natsuki said. "I barely know that word."

MoNatSaYuri: "I hadn't even thought of that…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "That's impressive."  
Yuri: "It's nothing, really…"  
Yuri: "Well…it makes me happy that you think that."  
Yuri: "Just remember that it won't be long before you pick up on these things, too."

"Yuri, I've been reading your poems for about a year and a half now, and I still don't know what half of them mean." Natsuki said.

"Well, maybe it's a problem with the audience rather than the writer." Yuri responded.

MoNatSaYuri: "Yeah, maybe you're right."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I guess I'll have to keep trying."  
Yuri: "I'm counting on you."

"'Five, six, seven…'" Sayori said, impersonating her purple-haired friend.

"She's just putting hashmarks on his forehead." Natsuki joked.

"I mean, he _does_ have the face of a white-board." Yuri said.

*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*  
Who should I show my poem to next?  
[Natsuki]  
[Monika]

"Okay, now then…" Natsuki muttered, once again reaching for the die. "Odd number for me, even number for Monika." With that, she once again dropped the die on the table, looking down at the number before turning her attention back to the screen. "Oh, joy, critical failure, we're checking out Monika's." As Natsuki clicked the option, Monika let out a huff as she crossed her arms.

*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*  
Monika: "Hi, MoNatSaYuri!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Having a good time so far?"

"I was, but then you showed up." Natsuki said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Ah…yeah."  
Monika: "Good! Glad to hear it!"  
Monika: "By the way, since your new and everything…"  
Monika: "If you ever have any suggestions for the club, like new activities, or things we can do better…"  
Monika: "I'm always listening!"

"Well, now that you mention it, I do have a few ideas on who we can fix some things here." Natsuki began. "It all circles back to getting rid of the current president."

"Natsuki, I am two heads taller than you and I have the powers of a god." Monika said, scowling at the pink-haired girl. "Watch. Your. Tongue."

"Well, I would, but it's kinda hard to see my face without a mirror." Natsuki joked.

Monika: "Don't be afraid to bring things up, okay?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Alright…I'll keep that in mind."  
Of course I'll be afraid to bring things up.  
I'm much better off just going with the flow until I'm more settled in.  
Monika: "Anyway…"  
Monika: "Want to share your poem with me?"

"No, I just came over here because I felt lonely." Natsuki snarked.

MoNatSaYuri: "It's kinda embarrassing, but I guess I have to."  
Monika: "Ahahaha!"  
Monika: "Don't worry, MoNatSaYuri."  
Monika: "We're all a little embarrassed today, you know?"  
Monika: "But that's the sort of barrier that we'll all learn to get past soon."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Yeah, that's true."  
I hand Monika my poem.  
Monika: "…Mhm!"  
Monika: "I like it, MoNatSaYuri!"

"Of course you do," Yuri began. "It could be one word and you'd call him the next Shakespeare."

MoNatSaYuri: "Really?"  
Monika: "It's a lot cuter than I expected."  
Monika: "Ahahaha!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Oh jeeze…"  
Monika: "No, no!"  
Monika: "It kind of makes me think of something Natsuki would write."  
Monika: "And she's a good writer, too."  
Monika: "So take that as a compliment!"

"I'll take it as an insult." Natsuki said. "Can't believe you'd compare my writing to this idiot's dribble."

MoNatSaYuri: "Ahaha…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "If you say so."  
Monika: "Yep!"  
Monika: "By any chance, have you read anything by Shel Silverstein?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Eh?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Maybe a long time ago…"

"Wow, he _actually_ knows that name." Yuri commented. "That's a step up from what we usually expect of him."

Monika: "He's famous for telling all kinds of stories in just a few simple words."

"If that's the comparison you were going for, why not use Doctor Seuss?" Natsuki asked. "Name one person who doesn't know that guy."

Monika: "His poems can be funny, endearing, or even sad…"

"Doctor Seuss hits all at once." Natsuki said.

Monika: "And sometimes they're only a few lines long."  
Monika: "They might even feel like they're written for kids, but if you think about them…"  
Monika: "They can express views of the world that would apply to anybody."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I see…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "So you're saying that Natsuki is kinda like that?"  
Monika: "Sort of."  
Monika: "Maybe she's not an expert…"

"Bitch, I'm the fucking queen of these poems." Natsuki said.

Monika: "But you probably won't find much filler in her poems."

"Give it a few days." Yuri said.

Monika: "They might be easy to write, but they're super challenging to get the meaning through."  
Monika: "So I can see why it would be your kind of poem to explore!"

"Hey, don't suck his dick in the classroom." Natsuki said.

MoNatSaYuri: "I'm sure I'll end up trying different things a lot."  
MoNatSaYuri: "It could take a while before I feel comfortable doing this."  
Monika: "That's okay!"  
Monika: "I'd love to see you try new things."

"'Like murder!'" Sayori said. "'Wooh-wee-wooh.~'"

Monika: "That's the way to find the kind of style that suits you."  
Monika: "Everyone else might be a little bit biased towards their own kinds of styles…"  
Monika: "But I'll always help you find what suits you most!"  
Monika: "So don't force yourself to write the way everyone else wants you to write."  
Monika: "It's not like you have to worry about impressing them or anything."  
Monika: "Ahaha!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ahaha…"  
Monika: "Anyway, do you want to read my poem now?"  
Monika: "Don't worry, I'm not very good…"

"You can say that again." Natsuki said, earning a glare from Monika.

MoNatSaYuri: "You sound pretty confident for someone who claims to not be very good."  
Monika: "Well…that's 'cause I have to sound confident."  
Monika: "That doesn't mean I always feel that way, you know?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I see…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Well, let's read it, then."  
*A piece of paper appears on the screen, showing Monika's poem.*  
Hole in Wall  
It couldn't have been me.  
See, the direction the spackle protrudes.  
A noisy neighbor? An angry boyfriend? I'll never know. I wasn't home.  
I peer inside for a clue.  
No! I can't see. I reel, blind, like a film left out in the sun.  
But it's too late. My retinas.  
Already scorched with a permanent copy of the meaningless image.  
It's just a little hole. It wasn't too bright.  
It was too deep.  
Stretching forever into everything.   
A hole of infinite choices.  
I realize now, that I wasn't looking in.  
I was looking out.   
And he, on the other side, was looking in.

Monika: "So…what do you think?"

"You can make the whole thing better if you changed the ending." Natsuki said.

"Really? How so?" Monika asked.

"Move it closer to the _beginning_!" Natsuki said. "Do-ho-ho-ho-ho!"

* * *

 **So remember how I said I was using the Game Grumps' videos on DDLC to write these transcripts? Well, no joke, my dice rolls gave me the** _ **exact same sequence of characters**_ **as in their videos. I think God decided to make writing this story easy on me.**

 **And then after I wrote that sentence for the first time, the power cut out. God is definitely a dick.**

 **So anyway, all I really have to say about writing this chapter is that I had to google the meaning of Yuri's poem because, yeah, her poems are pretty vague about their meaning.  
**


	6. Natsuki Vs Yuri - Round 1 - FIGHT!

Monika: "So…what do you think?"

"You can make the whole thing better if you changed the ending." Natsuki said.

"Really? How so?" Monika asked.

"Move it closer to the _beginning_!" Natsuki said. "Do-ho-ho-ho-ho!"

Monika let out an annoyed sigh as Sayori and Yuri began chuckling with Natsuki's fake laugh, giving the camera a light scowl. "Guess I walked into that one." Monika muttered.

MoNatSaYuri: "Hmm…it's very…freeform, if that's what you call it."

"It isn't what I'd call it!" Natsuki said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Sorry, I'm not really the right person to ask for feedback…"  
Monika: "Ahaha. It's okay."

"'I'm terrible with criticism anyway.'" Natsuki joked.

"I am not." Monika said.

"See, you give her criticism and she gets all defensive." Natsuki joked further.

Monika: "Yeah, that kind of style has gotten pretty popular nowadays."  
Monika: "That is, a lot of poems have been putting emphasis on the timing between words and lines."  
Monika: "When performed out loud, it can be really powerful."  
MoNatSaYuri: "What was the inspiration behind this one?"  
Monika: "Ah…"

"'Eh, who need inspiration to write something?" Sayori joked. "'Just put words to paper and hope it comes out semi-coherent.'"

"'Oh, we have more in common than I thought.'" Yuri joked with an impression of MoNatSaYuir.

"Yeah, and that pisses me off." Natsuki added.

Monika: "Well, I'm not sure if I know how to put it…"

"'You see, I was trying to frame my neighbors for breaking my wall…'" Natsuki joked, earning a fit of laughter from Sayori.

Monika: "I guess you could say I had some kind of epiphany recently."

"Wait, you have an army now?" Sayori asked with concern.

"No, Sayori, that's ' _infantry_.'" Yuri corrected.

Monika: "It's been influencing my poems a bit."  
MoNatSaYuri: "An epiphany?"

"'So what is it an example of?'" Sayori asked.

"No, that's ' _epitome_.'" Yuri corrected again.

Monika: "Yeah…something like that."  
Monika: "I'm kinda nervous to talk about deep stuff like that, because it's kind of coming on strongly…"  
Monika: "Maybe after everyone is better friends with each other."

"Oh, don't worry, Monika." Natsuki began. "We _really_ get to know each other by the end of this."

"Yep, quite a bit of _quality time_ together once this is over." Yuri grumbled.

Monika: "Anyway…"  
Monika: "Here's Monika's Writing Tip of the Day!"

"Yeah, like we're gonna take advice from a prick like you." Natsuki said.

Monika: "Sometimes, when you're writing a poem – or a story – your brain gets too fixated on a specific point…"  
Monika: "If you try too hard to make it perfect, then you'll never make any progress."  
Monika: "Just force yourself to get something down on that paper, and tidy it up later!"  
Monika: "Another way to think about it is this:"  
Monika: "If you keep your pen in the same spot for too long, you'll just get a big dark puddle of ink."  
Monika: "So just move your hand, and go with the flow!"

"The flow is a dog!" Sayori joked.

"Well, that explains our last poem." Yuri remarked.

"'Huh, thanks for the tip, Monika, but I already knew that.'" Natsuki joked in her MoNatSaYuri voice. "'It didn't really do much good, though.'"

Monika: "…That's my advice for today!"  
Monika: "Thanks for listening~"

"'Oh, I'm sorry, did you say something?'" Sayori joked in the MoNatSaYuri voice.

*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*  
Who should I show my poem to next?  
[Natsuki]

"Oh man, this is a really hard choice!" Sayori joked. "I mean, we only have enough time left to show it to one person, a-and I don't know. Should we show it to Natsuki or…?"

"Eh, let's just go home." Natsuki joked. "I'm sure no one will mind." Once she finished her remark, Natsuki selected the only option available to her.

*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*  
Natsuki: "…"

"'This is the worst dog I've ever seen.'" Sayori joked.

"'Hey, blame Monika, I was following _her_ advice.'" Natsuki followed.

MoNatSaYuri: "…?"  
Natsuki: "…Okay, well let's start with the things I don't like!"

"'First of all, I hate Monika.'" Natsuki joked, earning a scowl from the club president. "What? I never said I was talking about the poem."

Natsuki: "First of all, um…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "…"  
Natsuki re-reads my poem.  
Natsuki: "N-Never mind. I don't feel like giving you my opinion."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Eh? Then what's the point of sharing in the first place?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I wrote this when I could have been doing other things."

"Oh, Puh-leeze," Natsuki began. "We both know if you weren't writing this poem, you were probably just gonna slap your meat to some poorly drawn anime girl."

"Like you don't." Yuri muttered.

"Hey, I only get off to the _well-drawn_ sets of tits." Natsuki rebutted.

Natsuki: "Uu…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "In fact, remember how I said I wanted to read your poems?"

"Yeah, everyone tells me that." Natsuki said. "Then when I _try_ to share with them, they suddenly are 'too busy,' or 'have to go,' or 'run down the hall.'"

MoNatSaYuri: "That's what I had in mind when writing this."

"I don't know whether to feel flattered or insulted." Natsuki said.

MoNatSaYuri: "I want to help you feel comfortable enough to share yours."

"Well then, give me a foot massage." Natsuki joked. "My last class was gym, and they're killing me."

MoNatSaYuri: "Like Monika said."  
Natsuki: "Uuuu…!"  
Natsuki: "Well, I would be more comfortable sharing my poem if yours was really bad!"  
Natsuki: "You were supposed to show me some dumb poem and make me go 'Hah, well it's not that great but let me show you what real literature looks like!'"

"You wouldn't know it if it smacked you in the face." Yuri commented.

Natsuki: "And you went and ruined it!"  
Natsuki: "I hope you're happy."  
MoNatSaYuri: "…"

"'Well _excuuuuuse_ me, princess.'" Sayori began in an impersonation of MoNatSaYuri. "'Sorry I'm apparently so good at this.'"

MoNatSaYuri: "…So, in other words, you're saying you liked it?"  
Natsuki: "Urk-"

"'Urk, urk, urk, urk!'" Sayori began barking like a seal.

"You know, we should have made this a music club." Yuri commented. "We could probably have used Natsuki as an instrument. She makes a lot of funny noises."

"Yeah, well I know where you guys can blow into me." Natsuki joked, causing her other club members to wince.

Natsuki's retort gets caught in her throat.  
Natsuki: "Uuuuuuuuu…You're so…!"  
Natsuki: "You just…you…don't understand anything, do you?"  
Natsuki: "I already told you that, you don't have to go announcing it to the world like you're all self-important!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Pretty sure you never actually said that…"  
I say that mostly to myself.  
Natsuki must really hate me or something.

"It's nothing personal." Natsuki began. "I was just expecting a wicked hot chick to come in and be the first girl I draw into my harem like in those animes lifeless losers project onto."

I can't figure out if it's a win or a loss that she liked my poem.  
MoNatSaYuri: "In any case… You still need to show me yours, right?"  
Natsuki: "Gr… Fine, I guess."  
Natsuki: "Only because Monika will make me if I don't."  
*A piece of paper appears on the screen, showing Natsuki's poem.*  
Eagles Can Fly

"Get that shit outa my face!" Natsuki yelled as she immediately clicked off the poem.

"Woah, wait, what?" Yuri sputtered out.

"After you so vehemently defended it from Yuri's criticisms, _this_ is how you react to it now?" Monika asked. "What gives."

"It's just…" Natsuki began, before growling to herself as she tried to figure out how to phrase it. "So, I spent like an hour on this, trying to figure out exactly how to work the phrasing and shit, and I was so proud of how it turned out, and then fucking _Arin and Danny_ come in and run the 'X can Y' thing into the ground, and it-it's just… What was I thinking with this? It's terrible all around. I honestly hate myself for being proud of this shit."

"Well then… I'm sorry to hear that." Yuri said.

Natsuki: "Yeah…"  
Natsuki: "I told you that you weren't gonna like it."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I like it."

"Somehow that makes me feel worse." Natsuki silently mumbled, sliding down her chair.

Natsuki: "What?"  
Natsuki: "Just be honest!"

"Alright then…" Yuri began, before brining her fingers around her chin in thought. "Now how can I say this objectively?... Yeah, I'm drawing a blank. Your style's not my cup of tea, as it were, and I feel it kinda hampers the emotions you're trying to express. I think the issue is you _too thoroughly_ committed to it."

"Good to know." Natsuki mumbled as she stared blankly up at the ceiling.

MoNatSaYuri: "I am."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Why are you so convinced that I wouldn't like it?"

"Sorry, I gave you about a dozen more IQ points than you actually have." Natsuki said.

Natsuki: "Well-"  
Natsuki: "Because!"  
Natsuki: "Everyone in high school thinks that writing has to be all sophisticated and stuff…"  
Natsuki: "So people don't even take my writing seriously."  
MoNatSaYuri: "But isn't the point of poems for people to express themselves?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "You're writing style wouldn't make your message any less valid."  
Natsuki: "Yes! Exactly!"  
Natsuki: "I like it when it's easy to read, but it hits you hard."

"Oh, it's hitting me alright." Natsuki groaned.

"Okay, sit up properly, Natsuki." Yuri began, pulling the pink-haired girl back up her chair. "You're gonna break something or hurt yourself."

Natsuki: "Like in this poem."  
Natsuki: "Seeing everyone around you do great things can be really disheartening…"  
Natsuki: "So I decided to write about it."

"And now we know _why_ everyone is better than you." Natsuki said.

MoNatSaYuri: "Yeah, I understand."

"'Just smile and nod.'" Yuri joked.

Natsuki: "But the other nice thing about simple writing is that it puts more weight on the wordplay."  
Natsuki: "Like I set up for a rhyme at the end, but then made it fall flat on purpose."

"No, you didn't." Yuri pointed out. "You changed from an A-B-C-B rhyme scheme to an A-B-B-C."

"Oh, whoops." Natsuki said. "Maybe I should have swapped a few lines."

Natsuki: "It helps bring out the feeling in the last line."

"If it makes you feel any better," Yuri began. "You clearly _understand_ the technique, you just have trouble putting it into practice."

MoNatSaYuri: "So you did…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I guess more went into it than I realized."  
Natsuki: "That's what it means to be a pro!"

"Oh god, and I thought Monika made me want to barf." Natsuki grumbled, earning another annoyed sigh from Monika.

"The worst part it that's the nicest thing you've said to me in days." Monika mumbled as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

Natsuki: "I'm glad you learned something."  
Natsuki: "Didn't expect that from the youngest one here, did you?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Yeah…guess not."

"Wait, hang on," Monika began with a cocked eyebrow. "I thought Dan said we were all 18."

"Yeah, but I was born at the end of the year." Natsuki explained. "Like, the _very_ end of the year. Like, one minute it's my birthday, the next it's New Years."

I decide to humor her with that last comment.  
I don't really care how old everyone is, but if Natsuki is feeling proud then I won't take that away from her.  
*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*

"'Now, if you can excuse me, I need to go sulk.'" Natsuki joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "Phew…"

"'We finally fixed all those lightbulbs.'" Sayori joked. "'Maybe now the lights will stay on.'"

I guess that's everyone.  
I glance around the room.  
That was a little more stressful than I anticipated.  
It's as if everyone is judging me for my mediocre writing abilities…

"Oh, don't worry, you ain't the only one." Natsuki said.

Even if they're just being nice, there's no way my poems can stand up to theirs.  
This is a literature club, after all.  
I sigh.  
I guess that's what I ended up getting myself into.  
Across the room, Sayori and Monika are happily chatting.  
My eyes land on Yuri and Natsuki.

"Oh god no." Yuri mumbled as Natsuki attempted to bury herself in her hands, both realizing what they were fast approaching.

They gingerly exchange sheets of paper, sharing their respective poems.  
As they read in tandem, I watch each of their expressions change.  
Natsuki's eyebrows furrow in frustration.  
Meanwhile, Yuri smiles sadly.

"I get the feeling…" Natsuki grumbled.

Natsuki: " _(What's with this language…?)_ "

"'Oh, sorry.'" Yuri began. "'That's my French homework.'"

Yuri: "Eh?"  
Yuri: "Um…did you say something?"  
Natsuki: "Oh, it's nothing."  
Natsuki dismissively returns the poem to the desk with one hand.  
Natsuki: "I guess you can say it's fancy."  
Yuri: "Ah – Thanks…"  
Yuri: "Yours is…cute…"  
Natsuki: "Cute?"  
Natsuki: "Did you completely miss the symbolism or something?"  
Natsuki: "It's clearly about the feeling of giving up."  
Natsuki: "How can that be cute?"

"Our club's bundle of joy has depression, you can ask her." Yuri joked.

Yuri: "I-I know that!"  
Yuri: "I just meant…"  
Yuri: "The language, I guess…"  
Yuri: "I was trying to say something nice."  
Natsuki: "Eh?"  
Natsuki: "You mean you have to try that hard to come up with something nice to say?"

"I legitimately don't know how to put my opinion on your poem into words." Yuri said. "Cut me some slack."

"That's impressive considering how you're pretty much a walking thesaurus." Natsuki stated.

"Yuri's a _dinosaur?_ " Sayori joked.

Natsuki: "Thanks, but it really didn't come out nice at all!"  
Yuri: "Um…"  
Yuri: "Well, I do have a couple of suggestions…"  
Natsuki: "Hmph."  
Natsuki: "If I was looking for suggestions, I would have asked someone who actually liked it."

"Well, don't hold your breath." Yuri began.

"Past me, we're supposed to be _better_ than those losers on FanFiction." Natsuki said.

Natsuki: "Which people _did_ , by the way."

"Ehhh…" Sayori began.  
"I mean…" Monika followed.  
"Speak for yourself." Natsuki grumbled.

Natsuki: "Sayori liked it."  
Natsuki: "And MoNatSaYuri did, too!"

"Yeah, but he probably also likes Sword Art Online." Natsuki commented. "His opinion doesn't mean much."

Natsuki: "So based on that, I'll gladly give you some suggestions of my own."  
Natsuki: "First of all-"  
Yuri: "Excuse me…"  
Yuri: "I appreciate the offer, but I've spent a long time establishing my writing style."  
Yuri: "I don't expect it to change anytime soon, unless of course I come across something particularly inspiring."  
Yuri: "Which I haven't yet."

"'Now close your mouth, Natsuki.'" Yuri said. "'You'll catch flies.'"

"What? I was hungry, okay?" Natsuki joked.

Natsuki: "Nn…!"  
Yuri: "And MoNatSaYuri liked my poem too, you know."  
Yuri: "He even told me he was impressed by it."  
Natsuki suddenly stands up.

"I didn't know she was sitting down." Yuri said.

"Actually, wait, was that ever said?" Natsuki asked as she brought up the history menu. She quickly read over the previous lines of narration, muttering them to herself before she cocked an eyebrow. "No it wasn't, it never established we were sitting down."

"Well, you see," Sayori began. "You were standing normally, but then you stood up _even more_."

"What? Did I climb on top of a table?" Natsuki asked with a chuckle.

"Well, to be fair, it is the only way you can get to eye level with me." Yuri joked, causing Natsuki to scowl.

Natsuki: "Oh?"  
Natsuki: "I didn't realize you were so invested in trying to impress our new member, Yuri."  
Yuri: "E-Eh?!"

"'Nani!?'" Natsuki yelled out in an impression of Yuri's voice.

Yuri: "That's not what I…!"  
Yuri: "Uu…"  
Yuri: "You…You're just…"  
Yuri stands up as well.

"'I can't have her be taller than me!'" Sayori joked. "'Must restore natural order!'"

Yuri: "Maybe you're just jealous that MoNatSaYuri appreciates my advice more than he appreciated yours!"  
Natsuki: "Huh! And how do you know he didn't appreciate _my_ advice more?"  
Natsuki: "Are you that full of yourself?"  
Yuri: "I…!"  
Yuri: "No…"  
Yuri: "If I was full of myself…"  
Yuri: "…I would deliberately go out of my way to make everything I do overly cutesy!"  
Natsuki: "Uuuuuu…!"  
Sayori: "U-Um!"  
Sayori: "Is everyone okay…?"  
Natsuki: "Well, you know what?!"  
Natsuki: "I wasn't the one whose boobs magically grew a size bigger as soon as MoNatSaYuri started showing up!"

"Oh, so that's why Natsuki got up on the table." Yuri noted. "And you just _wish_ yours did."

"Hey, a flat chest is a status symbol!" Natsuki retorted, lightly pounding her chest.

Yuri: "N-Natsuki!"

"Actually, hang on," Yuri began. "How would you know if my boob-Actually, never mind. You're a perverted lesbian, right. Sorry, completely forgot."

Monika: "Um, Natsuki, that's a little-"  
Nat & Yuri: "This doesn't involve you!"  
Sayori: "I-I don't like fighting, guys…!"  
Suddenly, both girls turn towards me, as if they just noticed I was standing there.  
Yuri: "MoNatSaYuri…!"  
Yuri : "She-She's just trying to make me look bad…!"  
Natsuki: "That's not true!"  
Natsuki: "She started it!"  
Natsuki: "If she could get over herself and learn to appreciate that _simple_ writing is more effective…"  
Natsuki: "Then this wouldn't have happened in the first place!"  
Natsuki: "What's the point in making your poems all convoluted for no reason?"  
Natsuki: "The meaning should jump out to the reader, not force them to have to figure it out."

"Yeah, but the poem's writing and content shouldn't have to take a back seat to your message, regardless of how important you feel it is." Yuri said, before slapping her forehead as her eyes went wide. " _That's_ what I've been looking for!"

Natsuki: "Help me explain that to her, MoNatSaYuri."  
Yuri: "W-Wait!"  
Yuri: "There's a reason we have so many deep and expressive words in our language."

"Which is exactly why inflammable means the same thing as flammable." Natsuki rebutted.

"Isn't there a word that has two contradicting definitions?" Monika noted.

Yuri: "It's the only way to convey complex feelings and meaning the most effectively."  
Yuri: "Avoiding them is not only unnecessarily limiting yourself…it's also a waste."

"Is that why A Series of Unfortunate Events needs to bring everything to a halt to give me a lecture on a word?" Natsuki asked.

Yuri: "You understand that, right, MoNatSaYuri?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Um…!"  
Nat & Yuri: "Well?"

"'Oh no, double question marks!'*" Monika joked. "'These girls mean business!'"

MoNatSaYuri: "…"  
How did I get dragged into this in the first place?!  
It's not like I know anything about writing…  
But whomever I agree with, they'll probably think more highly of me!  
So of course it's going to be…!

[Natsuki]  
[Yuri]  
[Help me, Sayori!]

"So, I have some more things I'd like to say on this," Yuri began as Natsuki reached for her die. "But I think it'd be best if I saved them for Act 2."

"Yeah, same here." Natsuki said as she began shaking her hand. "Let's just get this over with." The die rolled across the table with a thump, and Natsuki looked down at it before looking up at the screen with a smile. "Oh good, we don't need to agree with _either_ of these jerks." Natsuki said before clicking on the third option.

MoNatSaYuri: "N-Natsuki…"  
Natsuki glares at me, drying up any words I had in my mouth.

"'Blah, I hate dry words.'" Sayori joked. "'They taste like dust.'"

So instead, I turn to Yuri.  
MoNatSaYuri "Yuri…"  
Yuri: "…"  
But Yuri's expression is so defenseless that I can't bring myself to say anything to her.  
MoNatSaYuri: "…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "…Sayori!"

"'Sayori, I choose _you!_ '" Natsuki joked. "'Use Peace Maker!'"

Sayori: "Eh?!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "…Yeah!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Everyone's fighting is making Sayori uncomfortable."  
MoNatSaYuri: "How can the two of you keep fighting when you know you're making your friend feel like this?"  
Sayori: "MoNatSaYuri…"  
Natsuki: "Well… That's her problem! This isn't about her."  
Yuri: "I-I agree…"  
Yuri: "It's unfair for others to interject their own feelings into our conflict."

"Then why the hell did you drag MoNatSaYuri into this?" Monika asked.

Natsuki: "Yeah, unless Sayori wants to tell Yuri what a stuck-up jerk she's being."

"'Why do you look at the speck in my eye, but fail to notice the beam in yours?'" Yuri misquoted.

Yuri: "She would never…!"  
Yuri: "It's your immaturity that's made her upset in the first place!"  
Natsuki: " _Excuse_ me?"  
Natsuki: "Are you listening to yourself?"  
Natsuki: "This is exactly why…"  
Natsuki: "Exactly why nobody likes-"  
Sayori: " _Stop!_ "  
Nat & Yuri: "-"

"Okay, so I just thought of those meme images where you put someone's mouth up where their nose usually goes." Natsuki chuckled. "I found one of Yuri a few days ago, and it is hi-larious."

Sayori: "Natsuki! Yuri!"

"'Which one of you is which?'" Sayori joked. "'I forgot your names again.'"

Sayori: "You guys are my friends!"  
Sayori: "I-I just want everyone to get along and be happy!"  
Sayori: "My friends are wonderful people…"

"Eh, two out of three." Natsuki joked, earning a scowl from Monika.

Sayori: "And I love them because of their differences!"  
Sayori: "Natsuki's poems…"  
Sayori: "They're amazing because they give you so many feelings with just a few words!"

"Yes, like the last one, such as repulsion and…" Yuri began joking, pausing to think over her next statement. "And... Um... Annoyance?"

"And shame, you can't forget shame." Natsuki joked. "And pity, too."

Sayori: "And Yuri's poems are amazing because they paint a beautiful picture in your head."

"Yeah, but I can't really enjoy a poem if I need to constantly check a dictionary every three words." Natsuki stated.

Sayori: "Everyone's so talented…"

" _Except for Monika._ " Natsuki and Yuri joked at the same time.

"What happened to no bullying the Dokis?" Monika asked with a scowl.

Sayori: "…So why are we fighting…?"

"'Why must Dokis fight?'" Natsuki joked.

Natsuki: "Be-Because…"  
Yuri: "Well…"  
Sayori: "Also!"  
Sayori: "Natsuki's cute and there's nothing wrong with that!"  
Sayori: "And Yuri's boobs are the same as they always were!"  
Sayori: "Big and beautiful!"  
Natsuki: "…"  
Yuri: "…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Sayori…"  
Sayori stands triumphantly.  
Monika stands behind her with a bewildered expression.

"Hey, Sayori, mind giving me some yoga tips?" Natsuki asked. "I'm real impressed by how you managed to stuff your foot in your mouth."

Yuri: "I'll…make some tea…"  
Yuri rushes off.  
Natsuki sits down with a blank expression on her face, staring at nothing.

"'Good God, I'm going to be condemned to little spoon for the rest of my life, aren't I?'" Natsuki joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "So, this is why Sayori is Vice President…"

"'She can make the club members incredibly uncomfortable easily.'" Natsuki joked. "'Just like Monika, but less extreme.'"

"You know, you'd think I'd get less annoyed the more you guys talk like that," Monika noted. "But nope, I somehow get angrier and angrier."

I whisper to Monika.  
She nods in return.  
Monika: "To be honest…"  
Monika: "I might come off as a good leader, and I can organize things…"  
Monika: "But I'm not very good with people…"

"You can say that again." Sayori snarked.

Monika: "I couldn't even bring myself to interject."  
Monika: "As President, that's kind of embarrassing of me."  
Monika: "Ahaha…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Nah…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "It's not like I can blame you."

" _Us_ on the other hand." Natsuki stated.

MoNatSaYuri: "I wasn't able to say anything, either."  
Monika: "Well…"  
Monika: "I guess that just means Sayori is amazing in her own ways, isn't she?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "You can say that."  
MoNatSaYuri: "She might be an airhead, but sometimes it's weirdly suspicious that she knows exactly what she's doing."

Natsuki glanced over at Sayori to see the ginger fiddling with a plastic egg. As Sayori squeezed the base, the top popped back off, swinging open and causing Sayori to jump in her chair. With a smirk, Natsuki looked back to the screen as she shook her head. "Nah." Natsuki muttered.

Monika: "I see~"

"'It makes me want to dance!'" Sayori joked. "'Come on, MoNatSaYuri, shake yo groove thang!'"

Monika: "Take good care of her, okay?"

"'God knows I won't.'" Sayori joked in an impersonation of the president.

Monika: "I would hate to see her get herself hurt."  
MoNatSaYuri: "That makes two of us…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "You can count on me."  
Monika smiles sweetly at me, causing my stomach to knot.

"Yeah, looking at Monika makes me feel queasy too." Natsuki commented.

"I have a medication for that if you're interested." Monika growled.

Such a genuine person really does make a good President, regardless of what she says.  
If only I could get the chance to talk to her a little more…  
*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*

"Oh, Goddamn it," Sayori muttered. "I thought we fixed the lights."

Monika: "Okay, everyone!"

"Take a drink." Natsuki joked, reaching for a glass. "Every time Monika says her catchphrase, take a shot."

"I don't say it that often!" Monika responded.

Monika: "It's just about time for us to leave."  
Monika: "How did you all feel about sharing poems?"

"Well, considering the fact that an argument broke out…" Yuri began. "Yeah, I'd say it went rather well."

Sayori: "It was a lot of fun!"  
Yuri: "Well, I'd say it was worth it."  
Natsuki: "It was alright. Well, mostly."  
Monika: "MoNatSaYuri, how about you?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "…Yeah, I'd say the same."  
MoNatSaYuri: "It was a neat thing to talk about with everyone."  
Monika: "Awesome!"  
Monika: "In that case, we'll do the same thing tomorrow."  
Monika: "And maybe you learned something from your friends, too."  
Monika: "So your poems will turn out even better!"

"Well, in theory, anyway." Natsuki commented.

MoNatSaYuri: "…"  
I think to myself.

"'Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?'" Sayori joked.

"If you wanted that statement to continue into the next, you needed to end with either a comma or a colon." Yuri stated. "As it's written, 'I think to myself' is a complete thought. Either that, or MoNatSaYuri thought to themselves 'ellipses.'"

"Well, is it any surprise he doesn't have anything on his mind?" Natsuki joked.

I did learn a little more about the kinds of poems everyone likes.  
With any luck, that means I can at least do a better job impressing those I want to impress.  
I nod to myself with newfound determination.  
Sayori: "MoNatSaYuri!"  
Sayori: "Ready to walk home?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Sure, let's go."  
Sayori: "Ehehe~"  
Sayori beams at me.

"'Sayori, I can't walk home if you keep firing lasers at me!'" Natsuki joked.

It truly has been a while since Sayori and I have spent this much time together.  
I can't really say I'm not enjoying it, either.  
*Scene changes to residential area.*  
MoNatSaYuri: "Sayori…"  
MoNatSaYuri: About what happened earlier…"  
Sayori: "Eh? What do you mean?"

"'How do you know Yuri's boob size?'" Yuri asked, impersonating MoNatSaYuri.

"Eh, well, I mean…" Sayori began stuttering, twiddling her fingers together as she blushed. "I kinda want… Boobs like yours…"

MoNatSaYuri: "You know, between Yuri and Natsuki."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Does that kind of thing happen often?"  
Sayori: "No, no, no!"

"'Normally, they swing chairs at each other.'" Natsuki joked. "'You caught them on a _good_ day.'"

Sayori: "That's really the first time I've seen them fight like that…"  
Sayori: "I promise they're both wonderful people."  
Sayori: "You don't… You don't hate them, do you?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "No, I don't hate them!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I just wanted your opinion, that's all."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I can see why they'd make good friends with you."

"Yeah, we kinda perfectly level each other out." Natsuki commented.

"The Freudian trio." Yuri stated.

"When we say one thing, we mean your mother." Sayori joked, causing Natsuki to laugh.

Sayori: "Phew…"  
Sayori: "You know, MoNatSaYuri…"  
Sayori: "It's nice that I get to spend time with you in the club."  
Sayori: "But I think seeing you get along with everyone is what makes me the happiest."  
Sayori: "And I think everyone really likes you, too!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "That's-!"  
Sayori: "Ehehe~"  
Sayori: "Every day is going to be so much fun~"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Sigh…"  
It looks like Sayori still hasn't caught onto the kind of situation I'm in.  
Sure, being friends with everyone is nice, but…  
…Does it really need to stop there?

"Goddamn it, dude." Natsuki complained. "I was _just_ about to comment on how much nicer you seemed from when we were _first_ introduced to you."

MoNatSaYuri: "We'll just have to see what the future holds, Sayori."  
I pat Sayori on the shoulder.  
I said that more to myself than to her, but it's easy to use Sayori as an internal monologue sometimes.  
Sayori: "Okay~!"  
Yeah…  
Let's do this!

"And then he walks right into his own door." Natsuki joked.

"Okay, would you be at all surprised if I said that we've actually done that before?" Sayori asked, twiddling her fingers together.

"Not really, no." Natsuki answered.

* * *

 **And at long last, we finally reach a point where I need to deviate from Game Grumps. I had to find a video covering Sayori's route to get the dialogue. Honestly, I should probably just switch over to three videos covering each girl specifically instead of what I was doing from the start.**

 **So in spite of the fact that I consider Natsuki my favorite Doki, I'd be hard-pressed to say I actually enjoy her poems. I honestly prefer Yuri's writing style, and I think Sayori's poems are the best. It's just that I think Natsuki's character is more interesting. Fortunately, Natsuki's poems go up in terms of quality from this point onward. Though granted, it had nowhere to go** _ **but**_ **up in my opinion.**

 ***Trust me, the original dialogue had double question marks. There are also multiple points where dialogue has double exclamation points. It's just that FanFiction's formatting removes that sort of thing.**


	7. How the Cookie (Doesn't) Crumbles

*Scene fades to black, before fading in on a notebook spread across a table.*

"Alright," Natsuki began as she reached for the make-shift die again. "Second verse, same as the first."

"Oh, can I do the first roll?" Monika asked.

"No." Natsuki said before dropping the die on the table. "Okay, Yuri, you're up."

"Um…" Yuri hummed as she quickly read through the list of words. "'Climax.'" Yuri read as she clicked the word, pleasing her chibi.

"Odd, most stories _end_ with the climax." Sayori joked.

With a thump, the die fell to the table again, and Natsuki glanced over at the purple-haired girl. "You again."

"… 'Vivid.'" Yuri read.

Shaking the die around in her hand, Natsuki dropped it to the table before smirking to herself. "And I'm up… 'Mouse…'" Natsuki said as she clicked her word.

"The vivid climax of a mouse." Sayori joked as Natsuki began rolling the die.

"No, it's 'the climactic, vivid mouse.'" Natsuki said. "And you're up."

"Hm…" Sayori hummed before clicking her word. "'Embrace.'"

"The climactic, vivid mouse embrace." Monika joked as Natsuki rolled the die again.

"And that's me." Natsuki said before looking back up at the screen. "'Valentine's.'" Natsuki read as she clicked the word. "The climactic, vivid mouse embraces Valentine's." With that, Natsuki snatched up her die and rolled it again. "And I get another word… 'Email.'"

"The climactic, vivid mouse embraces Valentine's emails…" Sayori recited with a chuckle.

"This is the weirdest poem I've ever heard." Yuri commented as Natsuki rolled her die.

"Yeah, well you're about to make it weirder." Natsuki stated.

"… Hm…" Yuri hummed. "Embraces Valentine's Emails sensation… Emails starscape…. 'Sensation.'" Yuri said as she clicked her word.

With a thump, the die fell back to the table, and Natsuki let out a sigh before glancing at Yuri. "You again." Natsuki said.

Yuri silently mouthed the possible word choices she had before a smile grew across her face as she selected the word 'disaster.' "Climactic, vivid mouse embraces Valentine's emails sensation disasters!"

"So far, this actually makes a weird kind of sense." Monika said as Natsuki began rolling the die.

" _How?_ " Sayori asked.

"Look, it's like…" Monika began. "A really big mouse received an email on Valentine's Day, but it's a really bad email, and it gives him all sorts of weird feelings, and he's just… Into it?"

"Well, Sayori, it's your turn to turn this car crash into a train wreck." Natsuki said.

"Um… 'Romance.'" Sayori said as she went to select the word. "No! 'Rose!'" Sayori began waving the mouse between the two options, humming to herself as she thought. "Um… Disaster romance, or disaster rose? Um… Eenie, Meenie, Miny…" Reciting the rhyme, the cursor landed on 'Rose,' and Sayori shrugged as she selected it.

"So what poem did we make last time?" Yuri asked as Natsuki began rolling her die.

"I don't remember." Monika shrugged. "We made that part a week ago."

"The viewers can tell us in the comments." Natsuki said as she dropped the die. "In the meantime…" Natsuki muttered before selecting the word 'jump.'

"The climactic, vivid mouse embraces Valentine's emails sensation disasters. Roses jump?" Yuri recited as Natsuki rolled the die.

"Your turn, Yur." Natsuki said.

"… 'Melancholy.'" Yuri said.

"Roses jump melancholy." Monika said as Natsuki rolled the die.

"And while they're melancholy…" Natsuki said as she read through the words. "'Vanilla.'" Natsuki read as she selected the word.

"Roses jump melancholy vanilla?" Sayori asked.

"The vanilla's melancholy!" Natsuki chuckled as she rolled the die again. "Oh, me again." Natsuki said as she looked through the words before chuckling more. "'Doki-Doki!'" Natsuki laughed as she selected the word. "Roses jump melancholy vanilla. Doki-Doki!"

"No, _disaster_ roses jump melancholy vanilla." Monika suggested.

"Call me weird, but I actually kinda like this poem." Sayori commented.

"Yeah, maybe we pegged MoNatSaYuri's writing all wrong." Monika said as Natsuki rolled the die.

"Okay, Yuri, I brought her up, now bring 'er down." Natsuki said.

"'Raindrops.'" Yuri read as she selected her word.

"The climactic, vivid mouse embraces Valentine's email sensation." Monika recited as Natsuki prepared to roll the die. "Disaster roses jump melancholy vanilla. Doki-Doki. _Raindrops_."

"My turn." Natsuki said after rolling the die, before humming as she read the words. "'Poof.'" Natsuki said with a grin.

"Raindrops poof." Monika recited as Natsuki prepared to roll the die again.

"Yuri, you're up." Natsuki said.

"Hey, how come I'm getting the short end of the stick this time?" Sayori asked.

"Now you know how I felt." Yuri said before selecting her word. "'Breathe.'"

"Raindrops poof breathe." Monika recited. "No, that doesn't sound right. How's about 'raindrops poof breath?'" She asked as Natsuki rolled the die again.

"Still you, Yuri." Natsuki said.

"… 'Graveyard.'" Yuri read as she selected her word.

"So the climactic, vivid mouse embraces Valentine's email sensation." Monika began reciting. "Disaster roses jump melancholy vanilla. Doki-Doki. Raindrops poof breathe. Graveyards…" As Monika spoke, Natsuki rolled the die before glancing at Sayori.

"Okay, you wanna go? Go." Natsuki said as she gestured to the screen.

"Hm… 'Cheer.'" Sayori said as she selected the word.

"Graveyards cheer-"

"No wait, color! Aw!" Sayori cried out, realizing the other word available.

"'Curses! Why am I not writing this poem in pencil!?'" Natsuki cried out in her MoNatSaYuri voice.

"'Or at the very least, why do I not have white out?'" Yuri joked as Natsuki rolled the die.

"Okay, I'm pretty sure we're on the Yuri route at this point." Natsuki said.

"Oh, is it my turn?" Yuri asked before reaching for the mouse. "… 'Breathe.'" Yuri read as she selected the word.

"Raindrops poof breath. Graveyards cheer breath." Monika recited.

"No, they cheer _for_ breath." Natsuki suggested.

"Oh, did I choose that word already?" Yuri asked as Natsuki rolled the die.

"Okay Yuri, take us home." Natsuki said before sitting back in her chair.

"Uh, 'raindro-' wait, no, I did that one already…" Yuri muttered before finding the perfect word to end on. "'Unending!'" Yuri said as she selected the word.

The list disappeared from the notebook, and Yuri's chibi jumped up in joy as the screen faded to black.

"So the climactic, vivid mouse embraces Valentine's email sensation." Monika recited as the screen faded to black. "Disaster roses jump melancholy vanilla. Doki-Doki. Raindrops poof breath and graveyards cheer for breaths unending."

"That's… Actually not half bad…" Natsuki admitted.

"'Not half bad?'" Yuri repeated with a raised eyebrow. "It's _complete nonsense_."

"Yeah, but it's the _fun_ kind of nonsense." Natsuki said. "You could probably bullshit _some_ hidden meaning if you tried hard enough."

*Scene opens on the clubroom.*  
Another day passes, and it's time for the club meeting already.

"'Man, it's a good thing I don't have classes or anything.'" Natsuki joked.

I've gotten a little more comfortable here over the past couple days.  
Entering the clubroom, the usual scene greets me.

"'For the last time, you complete dullard,'" Yuri began. "'We live in Japan and you make Japanese puns. We play _rugby_ , not football.'"

"'And I'm telling you they're the _same thing_!'" Natsuki joked back.

Sayori: "Hi, MoNatSaYuri."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Yo, Sayori."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Looks like you're in a good mood today."  
Sayori: "Ehehe~"  
Sayori: "I'm just still not used to you being in the club, that's all."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I see…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "… That's a pretty simple thing to get you in a good mood."

"Trust me, this girl is easy to impress." Natsuki noted.

MoNatSaYuri: "But I guess it's always the simple things with you, anyway."  
Sayori: "Speaking of which…"  
Sayori: "I'm kinda hungry…"  
Sayori: "Will you come with me to buy a snack?"

"Eh, just start nibbling on your arm." Natsuki joked. "You're the club's cinnamon bun, remember."

MoNatSaYuri: "No thanks."  
Sayori: "Eh?"  
Sayori: "T-That's not like you at all!"

"Who have you spent your entire childhood with?" Yuri asked. "That's _exactly_ like this guy."

"Yeah, I'm surprised he hasn't stolen your panties yet." Natsuki joked, before glaring at Monika. "Unlike _some_ people." With an annoyed scowl, Monika snapped her fingers, causing Natsuki to cock an eyebrow. "You do know you've already stolen my panties, right?"

"Look down." Monika said before Natsuki did as she was told and went beat red.

"Okay, the panties were one thing, but my _skirt too_!?" Natsuki yelled. "Don't you think that's a little far?"

"Fine, fine." Monika sighed before snapping her fingers again. "I'll take your bra instead."

"She won't notice the difference." Yuri noted, causing Natsuki to scowl.

MoNatSaYuri: "I have my reasons."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Why don't we take a look at your purse, Sayori?"

"Oh, do you like it?" Sayori asked. "I bought it last week."

Sayori: "E-Eh?"  
Sayori: "Why that… All of a sudden?"

"'Because the pattern is _absolutely amazing_.'" Monika joked. "'Where did you get it, I just _have_ to have one.'"

MoNatSaYuri: "No reason, really."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I just wanted to look at it."  
Sayori: "A-Ah…"  
Sayori nervously retrieves her coin purse.  
She fumbles with the latch and gets it open.  
Then, she turns it upside-down and lets its contents spill onto the desk.

"'A set of condoms litter the table.'" Natsuki joked.

"'You see, MoNatSaYuri, I'm really horny, and I want to have sex with you behind the vending machine.'" Sayori followed up.

"'Seriously? Not even Natsuki can fit back there.'" Yuri joked in the MoNatSaYuri voice.

"'I have my ways.'" Sayori joked.

Only two small coins fall out.  
Sayori: "A-Ahaha…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I knew it…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I can see right through you, Sayori."

"'That's why I don't ask you to move when you stand in front of the TV.'" Sayori joked.

Sayori: "That's not fair!"

"'I was wearing the _lead_ jacket!'" Monika joked.

Sayori: "How did you even know?"

"'Well, I noticed a stain of chalk between your left forefinger and thumb.'" Yuri began. "'I then recalled you were out playing billiards last night. From there, it was simple for me to deduce that you've gambled your allowance away in one night.'"

MoNatSaYuri: "It's simple."  
MoNatSaYuri: "If you had enough money in the first place, you would have bought a snack before coming to the clubroom."  
MoNatSaYuri: "So, either you're not hungry and wanted an excuse to take a walk…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Or, you planned to conveniently forget that you spent all your money, so that I would lend you some!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "But there's one more thing…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "… You're always hungry!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "And so, that only leaves the one option!"  
Sayori: "Uwaaa~!"  
Sayori: "I give up!"  
Sayori: "Don't make me feel guiltyyy!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "If you feel guilty, that means you deserve to feel guilty…"  
Yuri: "Ahaha."

"Well, so glad _someone_ finds this funny." Sayori commented.

Yuri suddenly giggles.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Eh?"  
I didn't notice that she was listening in.  
Her face is in her book, as always.

"'At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if she wears it as a hat out of the club.'" Sayori joked.

Yuri: "A-Ah!"  
Yuri: "I wasn't listening or anything-!"

"'I was just paying attention to the noises associated with the auditoria communication the two of you were previously engaged in.'" Yuri sputtered out.

"… I'm pretty sure that's a really wordy way to say you were listening." Natsuki commented.

Yuri: "It was just…something in my book…"

"Yeah, the torture scene from chapter seventeen always leaves me in stitches too." Monika joked.

"Oh, I'm sure." Natsuki added.

"Goddamn it, walked right into that one." Monika muttered.

Sayori: "Yuriiii…"  
Sayori: "Tell MoNatSaYuri to let me borrow some money…"  
Yuri: "That's-!"  
Yuri: "Don't get me involved like that, Sayori…"  
Yuri: "Besides…"  
Yuri: "You should only buy what you can responsibly afford…"  
Yuri: "And frankly, after pulling a mischievous little stunt like that, your suffering is fair enough retribution."  
MoNatSaYuri: "…"  
Yuri: "Ah-!"  
Yuri: "Did I just…"

"'Oh, god, no, I had a conversation!'" Yuri joked. "'Mom and dad will be _so_ disappointed in me!'"

Yuri: "I-I didn't mean that!"  
Yuri: "I got too absorbed into my book…"  
Yuri: "Uu…"  
Sayori: "Ahaha!"  
Sayori: "I really like when you speak your mind, Yuri…"  
Sayori: "It doesn't happen much, but it's a fun side of you!"

"Yeah, there's nothing more entertaining than hearing Yuri string words together." Natsuki joked. "Why, just yesterday, we had a conversation about the weather. Most fun I've had in days."

Yuri: "That's…"  
Yuri: "There's no way you could think that…"

"Yeah, you're right." Sayori joked. "I was just saying that to make you feel better."

Sayori: "You were right, though…"  
Sayori: "I did something bad, and now I have to accept the revolution."

"'Revolution?'" Monika repeated.

"~Ya say you want a rev~o~lu~tion, well, ya know/We all wanna change the world.~" Natsuki sang.

Yuri: "Retribution…"  
Sayori: "That!"

"'Can I eat it?'" Sayori asked. "'No? Then you can keep it. Hey, Yuri, you wanna go get a snack?'"

Yuri: "Still, coming from you, Sayori…"  
Yuri: "I guess there's a little devil inside all of us, isn't there?"

"Yeah, some more than others." Natsuki joked, glancing over at Monika.

"Do you _want_ me to take your skirt off?" Monika asked, raising her hand as she prepared to snap her fingers.

"Moni, we've been over this:" Natsuki began joking. "I'm not into you like that."

Sayori: "Ehehe…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Don't let her fool you."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Sayori knows exactly what she's doing."

"Just yesterday, she asked me what the Spanish word for _taco_ was." Yuri said.

"She point-blank asked what animal the pink panther was." Natsuki added.

"I was _joking_." Sayori argued.

MoNatSaYuri: "After all, she told you guys she was bringing me to the club before she even told me…"  
Sayori: "B-But…!"  
Sayori: "You wouldn't have come if it weren't for the cupcakes…"  
Sayori: "So I had to trick Natsuki into making them!"

"Yes, and what a cunning ruse it was." Natsuki began joking. "Text me after school asking me to bake cupcakes to help draw in new members. You magnificent bastard, I read your _book!_ "

MoNatSaYuri: "Come on, give me more credit than that, Sayori."

"'Well, I would, but I'm out of money.'" Sayori joked.

Sayori: "Ehehe…"  
 _Pwap!_  
Sayori: "Kyaa-!"  
Out of nowhere, something smacks Sayori in the face and tumbles onto the desk.  
Sayori: "Ow…"  
Sayori: "What was-"  
Sayori: "Eh?"  
Sayori: "A-A cookie!"

"'My god, sweet treats are finally fighting back!'" Monika joked.

Sure enough, it's a giant cookie wrapped in plastic.

"'It manages to crush the desk with its weight alone.'" Yuri joked. "'It threatens to break through the floor. I'm honestly surprised it got into the room it's so big.'"

Sayori glances around.  
Sayori: "I-Is it a miracle?"  
Sayori: "It's because I paid my restitution!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Retribution…"  
Yuri: "Actually, that one almost worked…"  
Natsuki: "Ahahaha!"

"'Fool, you fall victim to my giant cookie attack!'" Natsuki joked.

Natsuki: "I _was_ going to just give it to you."  
Natsuki: "But then I heard you blab about the cupcakes."  
Natsuki: "It was totally worth seeing your reaction, though. Ahaha!"  
Sayori: "N-Natsuki!"

"'You managed to throw this thing?'" Sayori joked. "'I'm not even sure I can pick it up.'"

Sayori: "That's so nice of you!"

"'Sorta.'" Sayori added.

Sayori: "I'm so happy…"  
Sayori hugs the cookie.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Jeez, just eat it…"  
Sayori rapidly tears open the wrapper and takes a big bite.  
Sayori: "Sho good…"  
Sayori: "Mmf-!"  
Sayori suddenly clasps her hand over her mouth.

"'Oh my god,'" Sayori began joking. "' _Raisin cookie!_ Natsuki, how could you!?'"

"Hey, raisin cookies aren't actually _that_ bad." Natsuki argued.

Sayori: "I bit my tongue…"

"Want me to kiss it all better?" Natsuki joked.

"No, I want MoNatSaYuri to." Sayori joked further.

Natsuki: "Ehehe."

"'Oh, the suffering of others.'" Natsuki joked. "'Now I understand dad.'"

Natsuki: "You're going through a lot over just one cookie."  
Natsuki takes a bite of her own cookie.  
Sayori: "Ah, yours looks really good too, Natsuki!"  
Sayori: "Can I try it?"  
Natsuki: "Jeez…"  
Natsuki: "Beggars can't be choosers!"  
Sayori: "But yours is chocolate…"

"'And I have a chocolate deficiency.'" Sayori joked. "'If I don't have at least a bar every day, I could die.'"

Natsuki: "Yeah, why do you think I gave you that one?"  
Sayori: "Fine…"  
Sayori: "Still, I'm really happy that you shared this one with me."  
Sayori: "Ehehe~"  
Sayori gets out of her seat and goes behind Natsuki, then wraps her arms around her.  
Natsuki: "Ah- Jeez…"

"'Things are squeezing against other things.'" Natsuki said.

Natsuki: "I get it, I get it."  
Cookie still in hand, Natsuki reaches up to nudge Sayori off of her.  
Sayori: "… _Om._ "  
Sayori suddenly leans down and takes a bite out of Natsuki's cookie.  
Natsuki: " _H-Hey!"_

"'An indirect kiss!?'" Natsuki joked. "'This is just like in that chapter of Parfait Girls!'"

Natsuki: "Did you seriously just do that?!"  
Sayori: "Uhuhuhu!"

"'Bleh, dark chocolate!'" Sayori spat. "'Natsuki, what the hell?'"

Mouth full, Sayori trots away to safety.  
Yuri and I laugh as well.  
Natsuki: "Jeez! You're such a kid sometimes!"

"Well, if one of us looks the part, one of us should act it, right?" Sayori joked.

"What did you just say?" Natsuki asked, gritting her teeth.

"Nothing!"

Natsuki: "Monika! Can you tell Sayori-"  
Natsuki: "-Eh?"  
Natsuki glances around.  
Monika isn't in the clubroom.

"'Huh, no wonder we were in such a good mood.'" Natsuki joked.

"Do you even want me here?" Monika asked angerly.

"Not particularly, no." Natsuki answered.

"Then… Then I guess I'll stay." Monika said. "Make you suffer through my presence."

Natsuki: "Ugh…"  
Natsuki: "Where's Monika, anyway?"  
Yuri: "Good question…"  
Yuri: "Have any of you heard anything about her being late today?"  
Sayori: "Not me…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Yeah, I haven't either."

"I actually thought that said 'Monika' for a second." Sayori said.

"'Hey, Monika, have you seen Monika?'" Yuri joked.

"'No, but I haven't passed any mirrors lately, so…'" Monika continued.

Yuri: "Hm…"  
Yuri: "That's a bit unusual."  
Sayori: "I hope she's okay…"

"I don't!" Natsuki added.

Natsuki: "Of course she's okay."

"'She's probably just plotting our murders or something.'" Natsuki said.

Natsuki: "She probably just had something to do today."

"'Like plot our murders!'" Sayori added.

Natsuki: "She's pretty popular, after all…"

" _Somehow_." Natsuki groaned.

"I will never understand how the 'Monika is best girl' thing started." Yuri stated.

Sayori: "Eh?"  
Sayori: "You don't think she…"  
Sayori: "She has a…!"

"' _Family!_ '" Sayori yelled.

"'Friend outside of the club.'" Yuri stated.

"'Detention.'" Natsuki said.

"'Desire to avoid you three.'" Monika snarked.

Yuri: "Ahaha. I wouldn't be surprised."  
Yuri: "She's probably more desirable than all of us combined."

"Huh, weird how the game just skipped over that line of dialogue." Yuri said as Natsuki quickly clicked past the statement.

Sayori: "Ehehe, that's true…"

"You guys can't do this forever." Monika noted as Natsuki once again clicked past it before anyone read it.

Natsuki: "Excuse me!?"

"Watch us." Natsuki said.

Suddenly, the door swings open.

"'Fun police!'" Sayori yelled. "'You're under arrest for having fun without a permit!'"

"'Oh no, it's the opinion police!'" Natsuki joked. "'They're here to arrest us for not liking Monika.'"

Monika: "Sorry! I'm super sorry!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ah, there you are…"

"'I'm just a passive observer.'" Yuri joked in her MoNatSaYuri voice.

Monika: "I didn't mean to be late…"  
Monika: "I hope you guys weren't worried or anything!"

"Sorta the opposite." Natsuki joked.

Sayori: "Eh?"  
Sayori: "Monika chose the club over her boyfriend after all!"

"' _Ahahahah_.'" All four members of the Literature Club began giving the remark a fake laugh. As it went on, their laughter all took on a more forced tone as Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri all glared at their club president, who continued to laugh nervously as she looked between all of them.

"Hehe, have I mentioned that I'm really sorry?" Monika asked.

"Have we mentioned that we really don't care?" Natsuki stated more than she asked.

Sayori: "You're so strong-willed!"  
Monika: "B-Boyfriend…?"  
Monika: "What on Earth are you talking about?"  
Monika quizzically glances at me.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ah, never mind that…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "What held you up, anyway?"

"'I was plotting your guys' murder and lost track of time.'" Natsuki joked.

Monika: "Ah…"  
Monika: "Well, my last period today was study hall."  
Monika: "To be honest, I kind of just lost track of time…"  
Monika: "Ahaha…"  
Natsuki: "That makes no sense, though."  
Natsuki: "You would have heard the bell ring at least."  
Monika: "I must not have heard it, since I was practicing piano…"

"'The pianos are really loud!'" Sayori joked. "'By the way, what did you just say, Natsuki?! My hearing's still recovering! I just came from the nurse's office!'"

Yuri: "Piano…?"  
Yuri: "I wasn't aware you played music as well, Monika."  
Monika: "Ah, I don't, really…!"  
Monika: "I kind of just started recently."  
Monika: "I've always wanted to learn piano."  
Sayori: "That's so cool!"  
Sayori: "You should play something for us, Monika!"  
Monika: "That's…"  
Monika looks at me.  
Monika: "Maybe once I get a little bit better, I will."  
Sayori: "Yay~!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "That sounds cool."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I'd also look forward to it."

"Jeez, she doesn't even _have_ a dick, and everyone's dropping down to suck it." Natsuki grumbled.

Monika: "Is that so?"

"'Oh my gosh, player-Kun noticed me!'" Sayori joked.

Monika: "In that case…"

"And then she just whips out a piano." Sayori joked.

"Not a portable keyboard. No, a _full grand piano._ " Yuri added.

"'Good thing I was lugging this thing around.'" Monika continued.

Monika: "I won't let you down, MoNatSaYuri."  
Monika smiles sweetly.

"'Now get out of the frame you three.'" Natsuki imitated. "'The spotlight's _mine_ now!'"

MoNatSaYuri: "Ah…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I didn't mean any pressure or anything like that!"

"'I actually meant a vacuum.'" Sayori joked.

Monika: "Ahaha, don't worry."  
Monika: "I've been practicing a whole lot recently."  
Monika: "And I'd really love a chance to share once I'm ready."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I see…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "In that case, best of luck."  
Monika: "Thanks~!"  
Monika: "So, I didn't miss anything, did I?"

"Well, aside from all of us joining together in a polygamous marriage and finalizing construction on that moon base, not much." Natsuki joked.

"You should have seen it, Monika!" Sayori began. "Natsuki made cookies bigger than your thighs!"

MoNatSaYuri: "Not…not really."

"Wait, what was that about my thighs?" Monika asked.

"Ah, don't worry about it." Sayori said. "Some people like a girl with junk in her trunk."

"… Are you calling me fat?" Monika asked with a scowl.

"In all the right places.~" Sayori said, before Monika snapped her fingers and Sayori's eyes widened. Quickly reaching for her skirt confirmed her suspicion, Sayori began blushing. "Come on, Monika! I was trying to be nice!"

"Trying and failing." Monika commented.

I choose to leave out Sayori's mischievous escapade.  
I'm sure Natsuki will end up complaining to her, anyway.

"You've been here two days, and you already know me so well." Natsuki commented.

It looks like everyone has already settled down.

"Yeah, down to the lower level." Yuri commented. "The clubroom's about as empty as Act 3."

Sayori somehow already finished her entire cookie.

"'She's now sitting in the corner as a bloated ball of fat.'" Monika joked.

"'Natsuki's hugging her, surprisingly enough.'" Sayori joked.

"'She's just so _cuddly_.'" Natsuki added.

Yuri is back in her book, and Natsuki disappeared into the closet.

"'Disappeared' is the right word." Yuri commented.

"A game of hide and seek in this club takes _days_." Sayori joked.

*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*

"'Oh, goddamnit!'" Monika called out. "'I thought we got this fixed!'"

I'm really curious to talk to Yuri a little bit more…

"'Or, you know, at all.'" Natsuki joked.

But at the same time, I would feel bad for distracting her from her reading.  
I catch a glimpse of the cover of her book.

"'Why is Yuri reading Parfait Girls?'" Natsuki joked.

"You broke me, okay?" Yuri said. "I _need_ to know what does and doesn't happen in this book."

It looks like the same book she lent to me…  
More than that, she seems to be on the first few pages.

"Wait, you've been reading since the club started, and you're _only_ on the first few pages?" Natsuki asked.

"Portrait of Markov is _not_ a fast read." Yuri stated.

Yuri: "Ah…"  
Crap-

"How come we can never do that?" Sayori asked.

"Do what?" Yuri questioned.

"You know," Sayori began, glancing over at Natsuki. "Finish each other's…"

"… Sandwiches?" Natsuki asked before smirking as Sayori scowled.

I think she noticed me looking at her…

"Okay, don't panic." Natsuki said. "I'm an expert at handling wild Yuris. When one notices you while she's reading and begins to make eye contact, leave another book in front of her and back away slowly. Don't try to run if she comes closer, she's only interested in the book."

She sneaks another glance at me, and our eyes meet for a split second.  
Yuri: "…"  
But that only makes her hide her face deeper in her book.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Sorry…"

"'I didn't mean to disturb your territory.'" Sayori joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "I was just spacing out…"  
I mutter this, sensing I made her uncomfortable.  
Yuri: "Oh…"  
Yuri: "It's fine…"  
Yuri: "If I was focused, then I probably wouldn't have noticed in the first place."  
Yuri: "But I'm just re-reading a bit of this, so…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "That's the book that you gave me, right?"  
Yuri: "Mhm."  
Yuri: "I wanted to re-read some of it."  
Yuri: "Not for any particular reason…!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Just curious, how come you have two copies of the same book?"

"I don't; I have six." Yuri began joking. "A hardcover, a paper cover, a signed hardcover, a signed paper cover, and a hard and paper cover that I never take out of their wrapping. Those are the collector's items."

"I'm surprised you know enough about otaku culture to make that joke." Natsuki commented.


	8. Sharing is Pairing

MoNatSaYuri: "Just curious, how come you have two copies of the same book?"

"I don't; I have six." Yuri began joking. "A hardcover, a paper cover, a signed hardcover, a signed paper cover, and a hard and paper cover that I never take out of their wrapping. Those are the collector's items."

"I'm surprised you know enough about otaku culture to make that joke." Natsuki commented.

Yuri: "Ah…"  
Yuri: "Well, when I stopped at the bookstore yesterday-"  
Yuri: "Ah, that's not what I meant…"

"'I actually ordered it on Amazon.'" Sayori joked.

Yuri: "I mean-"  
Yuri: "I…just happened to buy two of them."

"'I meant to buy one, but I'm really bad a counting.'" Sayori said. "'Why do you think I'm in the _literature_ club and not the math club?'"

"Writers cannot do math." Yuri commented.

MoNatSaYuri: "Ah, I see."

"'I'm really bad at math too.'" Monika joked. "'Makes it kinda hard for me to make sure all five of you girls are here.'"

There's something fairly obvious here that Yuri isn't telling me, but I decide to let it go.

"'But I'm the main character of a romance visual novel, so I fail to pick up on it.'" Natsuki said in her MoNatSaYuri voice.

MoNatSaYuri: "I'll definitely start reading it soon!"

"'Right after I finish reading Naruto.'" Natsuki joked. "'I'm on chapter 12 right now, but it shouldn't take _that_ long. How long can that manga be?'"

Yuri: "I'm glad to hear…"  
Yuri: "Once it starts to pick up, you might have a hard time putting it down."  
Yuri: "It's a very engaging and relatable story."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Is that so…?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "What's it about, anyway?"  
Yuri: "Well…"  
Yuri: "Mmm…"  
Yuri closes the book and scans her eyes over the back.

"'Wait a minute, this is my math textbook!'" Sayori joked.

"'No wonder I couldn't follow the plot.'" Yuri added.

The book is titled 'Portrait of Markov.'

"Oh, _that_ one." Natsuki said. "Yeah, I can relate to that book, but not in a _good_ way."

There's an ominous-looking eye symbol on the front cover.

"'On the back, there's an adorable puppy.'" Natsuki joked.

Yuri: "Alright…"  
Yuri: "I just wanted to make sure I don't accidentally give anything away."  
Yuri: "Basically, it's about this girl in high school who moves in with her long-lost younger sister…"  
Yuri: "But as soon as she does so, her life gets really strange."  
Yuri: "She gets targeted by these people who escaped from a human experiment prison…"  
Yuri: "And while her life is in danger, she needs to desperately choose who to trust."  
Yuri: "No matter what she does, she ends up destroying most of her relationships and her life starts to fall apart…"

"Hashtag relatable." Sayori said.

"Yeah, that's pretty much Tuesday for me." Monika joked.

"Okay, so maybe it's not _all_ relatable." Yuri said.

MoNatSaYuri: "That's kind of-!"  
That's kind of dark, isn't it?  
Yuri made it sound like it was going to be a nice story, so that dark turn came from nowhere.

"Oh don't worry, it's just as abrupt in the book." Yuri joked.

Yuri: "Ahaha."  
Yuri gently giggles, all of a sudden.  
Yuri: "Are you not a fan of that sort of thing, MoNatSaYuri?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "No, it's not that…"

"'I mean, I'm a fan of _Attack on Titan_ and _Danganronpa_.'" Natsuki joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "I mean, I can definitely enjoy those kinds of stories, so don't worry."  
Yuri: "I hope so…"

"'Wink wink.'" Yuri said.

Yeah… I totally forget that Yuri is into those things.  
She's so shy and reclusive on the outside, but her mind seems to be completely different.  
Yuri: "It's just that those kinds of stories…"

"'Turn me on.'" Natsuki joked.

Yuri: "They challenge you to look at life from a strange new perspective."  
Yuri: "When horrible things happen not just because someone wants to be evil…"

Yuri put extra emphasis on those last words as she turned to look at Monika, giving the brunette a scowl before Monika let out a sigh.

Yuri: "But because they have their own goals, or their own philosophy that they believe in."  
Yuri: "Then suddenly, when you thought you related to the protagonist…"  
Yuri: "They're made out to be the naïve one for letting their one-sided morals interfere with the villain's plans."

"Yuri… _Everyone_ has an excuse for being a dick." Natsuki said. "And with what you say about this book in act two, I'm pretty sure you're reading deeper into this than you should."

Yuri: "I'm…I'm rambling, aren't I…?"  
Yuri: "Not again…"

"'The last time I went on a tangent, people _died_.'" Sayori joked.

Yuri: "I'm sorry…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Hey, don't apologize…!"

"'Wait, why am I bleeding out of my ears?'" Natsuki joked.

"'Oh no, it's started!'" Sayori said in an impression of Yuri.

MoNatSaYuri: "I haven't lost interest or anything."

"'So what's this book about, anyway?'" Monika said in her MoNatSaYuri voice.

Yuri: "Well…"  
Yuri: "I guess it's alright, then…"  
Yuri: "But I feel like I should let you know that I have this problem…"  
Yuri: "When I let things like books and writing fill my thoughts…"

"'I tend to act out certain scenes from what I'm reading.'" Natsuki said.

Yuri: "I kinda forget to pay attention to other people…"

"'Wait, when'd you get here?'" Yuri joked.

Yuri: "So I'm sorry if I end up saying something strange!"  
Yuri: "And please stop me if I start talking too much!"

"'The last thing I want to do is let everyone know I came to school without panties and that I like rubbing my butt on my books'" Natsuki said in an impression of Yuri, causing the purple-haired girl to blush.

"Can-can you _not_ say crude stuff like that?"

MoNatSaYuri: "That's-"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I really don't think you'll need to worry…"

"'I like girls who don't wear panties.'" Sayori said.

"'Just ask Aqua.'" Natsuki added.

MoNatSaYuri: "That just means you're passionate about reading."  
MoNatSaYuri: "The least I can do is listen."  
MoNatSaYuri: "It's a literature club, after all…"  
Yuri: "Ah-"  
Yuri: "That's…"  
Yuri: "Well, that's true…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "In fact…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I might as well get started reading it, right?"  
Yuri: "Y-You don't have to!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ahaha, what are you saying?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Just a moment ago, you said you were looking forward to it."  
Yuri: "…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Let me just get the book…"

"Didn't I need to strong-arm you into reading with me?" Natsuki asked with a huff.

"Maybe Natsuki's right about the whole boob thing…" Yuri mumbled.

I quickly retrieve the book that I had put in my bag.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Alright…it's fine if I sit here, right?"  
I slip into the seat next to Yuri's.  
Yuri: "Ah…!"  
Yuri: "Yeah…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Are you sure?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "You seem a little apprehensive…"  
Yuri: "That's…"

"'Oh god, he's wearing AXE Body Spray…'" Yuri said.

"'When was the last time he showered?'" Natsuki added.

Yuri: "I'm sorry…"  
Yuri: "It's not that I don't want you to!"  
Yuri: "It's just something I'm not very used to…"  
Yuri: "That is, reading in company with someone."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I see…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Well, just let me know if I end up distracting you or anything."

"'I don't think I can think about anything besides that putrid smell.'" Yuri joked.

Yuri: "A-Alright…"  
I open the book and start the prologue.

"'Dear diary, today a really cute boy joined our club.'" Natsuki joked.

"'U-um, that's the wrong book!'" Sayori said in an impression of Yuri.

"It's a really short read, it ends there." Yuri said.

I soon understand what Yuri means about reading in company.  
It's as if I can feel her presence over my shoulder as I read.  
It's not a particularly bad thing.  
Maybe a little distracting, but the feeling is somewhat comforting.  
Yuri is in the corner of my eye.  
I realize she's not actually looking at her own book.  
I glance over.  
It looks like she's reading from my book instead-  
Yuri: "S-Sorry!"  
Yuri: "I was just-!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Yuri, you really apologize a lot, don't you?"

"'Sorry, I'm part Canadian, ay.'" Yuri joked.

"'I'm selling bags of milk, ya want one, ay?'" Natsuki joked.

"Can you _not_ make me sound like a pervert like you?!" Yuri requested at the top of her lungs.

"Why, whatever are you getting at?" Natsuki asked with a smug grin.

"You know what you said." Yuri scowled.

Yuri: "I…I do?"  
Yuri: "I don't really mean to…"  
Yuri: "Sorry…"  
Yuri: "I mean-!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ahaha."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Here, this should work, right?"  
I slide my desk until it's up against Yuri's, then hold my book more between the two of them.  
Yuri: "Ah…"  
Yuri: "I suppose so…"  
Yuri timidly closes her own copy.  
Once we each lean in a little bit, our shoulders are almost touching.  
It feels like my left arm is in the way, so instead I use my right hand to hold the book open.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ah, I guess that makes it kind of difficult to turn the page…"  
Yuri: "Here…"  
*Scene changes to CG of Yuri holding the edge of the book on the desk with one hand.*  
Yuri takes her left arm and holds the left side of the book between her thumb and forefinger.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Ah…"  
I do the same with my right arm, on the right side of the book.  
That way, I turn the page, and Yuri slides it under her thumb after it flips to her side.  
But in holding it like this…  
We're huddled even closer together than before.

"'I can so clearly see her boobs.'" Natsuki said.

It's actually kinda distracting me…!  
It's as if I can feel the warmth of Yuri's face, and she's in the corner of my vision…  
Yuri: "…Are you ready?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Eh?"  
Yuri: "To turn the page…"

"Actually, hold on," Natsuki began as she made the text box disappear to get a better look at the CG. "I just noticed something, the text on the left side of the book stops a bit after halfway down the page. But then the text stops down halfway on the next."

"This book has _really_ short chapters sometimes." Yuri said.

"Oh, you mean like how Captain Underpants always has those 'To Make a Long Story Short' chapters?" Sayori asked.

"Well, not quite-" Yuri began.

"'Our main hero raced down the alleyway, hoping to escape her pursuers.'" Natsuki said. "'To Make a Long Story Short: She did.'"

MoNatSaYuri: "Ah…sorry!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I think I got a bit distracted for a second…"  
I glance over at Yuri's face again, and our eyes meet.  
I don't know how I'll be able to keep up with her.  
Yuri: "Ah…"  
Yuri: "That's okay."  
Yuri: "You're not as used to reading, right?"  
Yuri: "I don't mind being patient if it takes you a bit longer…"  
Yuri: "It's probably the least I could do."  
Yuri: "Since you've been so patient with me…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Y-Yeah…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Thanks."  
We continue reading.  
Yuri no longer asks me if I'm ready to turn the page.  
Instead, I just assume that she finishes the page before me, so I turn it by my own volition.  
We continue the first chapter in silence.  
Even so, turning each page almost feels like an intimate exchange…

"And yet again, he's more excited about doing this with the boobs." Natsuki grumbled.

"Why would you care?" Yuri asked. "You're a lesbian, remember?"

"Yeah, but he didn't know that!" Natsuki rebutted. "How come I don't turn him on?"

My thumb gently letting go of the page, letting it flutter over to her side as she catches it under her own thumb.

"Yeesh, I haven't seen prose that purple since Yuri used her colored pen." Natsuki commented.

MoNatSaYuri: "Hey, Yuri…"

"Actually, something else I just realized:" Natsuki began. "Why does this CG make Yuri look totally mysterious and romantic and junk, while mine makes me look like someone left big-head mode on."

"To be fair, a scene like this doesn't suit your character, Natsuki." Monika said.

"Says who?" Natsuki responded. "I can be sexy!"

"… No, that joke's too easy." Monika sighed.

MoNatSaYuri: "This might be a silly thought, but…"

"'Don't you think this book would be better if it had baby unicorns?'" Sayori joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "The main character kind of reminds me of you a little bit."  
Yuri: "You…think so?"  
Yuri: "How does she?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Well, I guess she's more blunt in a lot of ways…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "But she also second-guesses all the things that she says and does."

"'Oh, come now, I'm nothing like that.'" Yuri said, before looking down at the desk. "'Wait, _am I_ like that…? No, I can't be… But then again…!'"

MoNatSaYuri: "Like she's afraid she'll do something wrong."  
MoNatSaYuri: "It's not like I can see into your head or anything…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "But that's kind of reminiscent of some of your mannerisms."  
Yuri: "I-I see…"

"Does this all tie back into that whole 'Project Libitina' thing I've been hearing about?" Sayori asked.

"That is the popular theory." Yuri said.

"Oh, hey, that reminds me:" Natsuki began before looking into the camera. "Yo, Dan, it's almost the end of 20 _19_ -"

 **~Yes, we know it's 2020. Give me a break. Editing and uploading videos from inside the game is HARD.~**

"-Where's that whole game thing you were promising us a year ago, hm?" Natsuki finished.

"Oh, give him a break, Natsuki." Monika said. "You read his update. You know he's busy with other, real-life related stuff."

"Yeah, well we've still been kept waiting for an entire _year_." Natsuki said.

*Scene changes back to classroom.*  
Yuri remains silent for a moment.  
Yuri: "But MoNatSaYuri…"  
Yuri: "That's probably…"

"'Because I wrote this book.'" Sayori said.

"Dun dun _duuun_!" Natsuki sang.

Yuri: "…a terrible thing to have in common with her!"  
Yuri: "Uuuh, that's so embarrassing that you think that…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "W-Wait!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I didn't mean it in a bad way or anything!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Sorry, I really didn't know you were self-conscious about that sort of thing…"  
Yuri: "…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I guess I more meant that it's kind of cute…"  
Yuri: "A-Ah-"

"Oh, great, now you're stealing _that_ from me too!?" Natsuki said as she scowled at the purple-haired girl.

"You don't even _like_ being called cute." Yuri pointed out.

"It's _all_ I have going for me!" Natsuki rebutted.

Yuri: "What are you saying all of a sudden…?"  
Yuri: "I…!"  
Monika: "Okay, everyone!"

"Wow, this is probably the first time in a while I'm _happy_ to see Monika." Yuri said, causing the brunette to let out an annoyed sigh.

Yuri: "…!"  
Monika: "I think it's about time we share today's poems with each other."  
Monika: "We might not have enough time if we wait too long."  
Yuri: "Ah…"

"'Oh, _really_?'" Natsuki said with a grin as she imitated her purple-haired friend.

"'Hey guys, you wanna talk about that…'" Yuri began, before scrunching her eyebrows in thought. "'Soccer… Game last night?'"

Yuri exhales, spared from finishing her thought.  
Monika: "Is that alright, Yuri?"  
Monika: "You look kind of down…"

"'Which is impressive considering how tall you are.'" Sayori joked.

Monika: "I'm sorry if you haven't been looking forward to this…"  
Yuri: "Ah, it's not…"  
Yuri: "…It's fine."  
Yuri released her hand from the book, causing it to close on top of my thumb.

"Wow, is that thing spring-loaded or something?" Natsuki asked.

"Come to think of it, I did get that at a prank store." Yuri joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "Alright…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I guess I'll do some more reading tonight."

"'It's been a while since I've had a good nightmare.'" Sayori joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "Or would you prefer I only read it with you?"

"Again, more considerate and interested in the boobs, it's a fucking…" Natsuki began grumbling.

Yuri: "Um…!"  
Yuri: "I…guess I don't have too much of a preference either way…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Hmm…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "In that case, I'll read a little more tonight."  
MoNatSaYuri: "It'll be more fun to read with you after it picks up a bit, you know?"

"Seriously, just compare his inner-monologue from yesterday with today." Natsuki said. "It's like we're playing as a new character."

Yuri: "That's good reasoning."  
Yuri: "In that case, feel free to finish the first two chapters in your own time."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Alright!"  
I stand up.

"Once again, narration and visuals tell two different stories." Yuri sighed.

I make a mental note of where I left off in the book, then slip it back into my bag.

"'It gets cut in half by my exposed scissors.'" Natsuki joked.

"'The ink gets washed away by sodas and juices.'" Sayori added.

"'Suddenly, it gets struck by lightning!'" Monika finished.

"And _that's_ why I have five more." Yuri remarked.

*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*

"'Can we switch to candles or something?'" Sayori asked. "'I feel like those are more trustworthy than these lights.'"

Who should I show my poem to first?  
[Sayori]  
[Natsuki]  
[Yuri]  
[Monika]

"Okay, second verse…" Natsuki said as she reached for the die, shaking it in her hand before dropping it to the desk. "… That's a three for Yuri." Natsuki remarked before clicking the girl's name.

*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*  
Yuri: "Let's see what you've written for today."

"' _Written_ and not _drawn_.'" Yuri remarked.

"'Hopefully the lights will stay long enough for it.'" Sayori joked.

Yuri: "…"  
Yuri: "…"  
Yuri stares at the poem with a surprised expression on her face.

"'I think the acid's finally kicking in.'" Natsuki joked in an impression of Yuri.

MoNatSaYuri: "Do you…like it?"

"'Disaster roses… _What_?'" Yuri asked. "'What am I reading? Is this a crazy man's inner dialogue?'"

Yuri: "MoNatSaYuri…"  
Yuri: "…How did you pick up on this so quickly?"  
Yuri: "Just yesterday, I was telling you the kind of techniques worth practicing…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Maybe that's why…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "You did a good job explaining."  
MoNatSaYuri: "I really wanted to try giving it more imagery."

"Well, I suppose you pulled that off." Yuri said. "It reads like the literary equivalent of one of Pablo Picasso's paintings."

Yuri visibly swallows.

"'She liked the poem so much she decided to eat it.'" Sayori joked.

Even her hands appear sweaty.

"'Even her hands appear to swallow.'" Sayori said.

Yuri: "I'm not…used to this…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Used to what?"  
Yuri: "I don't know…!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "It's fine, take your time…"  
Yuri breaths and collects her thoughts.  
I know that Yuri likes to think before she speaks, so I offer that patience to her.  
Yuri: "Yeah…"  
Yuri: "Just…being appreciated like this…I guess."  
Yuri: "It probably sounds really stupid…"  
Yuri: "But seeing someone motivated by my writing…"  
Yuri: "It just makes me…"

"'Wanna use, dot-dot-dot,'" Natsuki began saying. "'More ellipsis, dot-dot-dot.'"

Yuri: "Really happy…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Are you saying you've never shared your writing before?"

"'That… I kinda said that on the first day.'" Yuri stated. "'Where were you when I explained all this to Monika?'"

Yuri nods.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Really? I don't believe it."  
Yuri: "I really only write to myself…"

"'I write myself to sleep at night.'" Sayori joked. "'It's far more effective than crying.'"

Yuri: "And besides…"  
Yuri: "…People would just laugh at me!"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Do you really think that…?"  
Again, Yuri nods.  
MoNatSaYuri: "Huh…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Even your close friends?"  
Yuri: "…"  
Yuri doesn't respond to that.

"Hey, Yuri, we finally found something in common!" Natsuki laughed. "Oh no, I made myself sad."

I wonder why…  
MoNatSaYuri: "Anyway…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Do you want to share the poem you wrote today?"

"'Not particularly.'" Yuri said. "'But I'm scared Monika will yell at me if I don't.'"

Yuri: "…Yeah."  
Yuri: "I do!"  
Yuri: "If it's with you…"  
*A piece of paper appears on the screen, showing Yuri's poem.*  
The Raccoon  
It happened in the dead of night while I was slicing bread for a guilty snack.  
My attention was caught by the scuttering of a raccoon outside my window.  
That was, I believe, the first time I noticed my strange tendencies as an unordinary human.  
I gave the raccoon a piece of bread, my subconscious well aware of the consequences.  
Well aware that a raccoon that is fed will always come back for more.  
The enticing beauty of my cutting knife was the symptom.  
The bread, my hungry curiosity.  
The raccoon, an urge.

The moon increments its phase and reflects that much more light off of my cutting knife.  
The very same light that glistens in the eyes of my raccoon friend.  
I slice the bread, fresh and soft. The raccoon becomes excited.  
Or perhaps I'm merely projecting my emotions onto the newly-satisfied animal.

The raccoon has taken to following me.  
You could say that we've gotten quite used to each other.  
The raccoon becomes hungry more and more frequently, so my bread is always handy.  
Every time I brandish my cutting knife, the raccoon shows me its excitement.  
A rush of blood. Classic Pavlovian conditioning. I slice the bread.  
And I feed myself again.

Yuri: "Um…"

"Yuri, I know I said last time that your symbolism was too broad," Natsuki began explaining. "But I don't think _spelling it out_ was a good answer."

"There is just no pleasing you, is there?" Yuri asked. "First my metaphors are too broad, then it's too restrictive. Make up your mind."

Yuri: "I was a little more daring with this one than yesterday's…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "I can see that."  
MoNatSaYuri: "It's a lot more metaphorical…"  
I don't know if it's my fault, but I can't begin to imagine what this poem is about.

"If it makes you feel better, I only really understand it in hindsight." Sayori said.

Yuri: "That's right."  
Yuri: "It's a bit closer to my preferred writing style…"

"'I love raccoons.'" Sayori joked. "'I put them in everything I write.'"

"'My first story was a Sly Cooper fanfiction.'" Natsuki added.

Yuri: "Using the poem as a canvas to express vivid imagery, and conveying emotions through them."

"Why do I see you practicing that line in the mirror?" Natsuki asked.

"I-I would never…" Yuri mumbled with a blush.

MoNatSaYuri: "Yeah, if I take it at face value, then I can't even figure out what it's supposed to mean…"  
Yuri: "Well…"  
Yuri: "I think it's something that different people can relate to in their own way."  
Yuri: "I wanted to express the way it feels for me to indulge in my more unusual hobbies…"

"If that were the case, you can do that better by writing 'ow' over and over again." Natsuki said.

Yuri: "It's those sorts of things I'm usually forced to keep to myself."  
Yuri: "So, I sometimes enjoy writing about them."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Why do you keep them to yourself?"  
Yuri: "Be…Because…"

"Because she has trouble expressing her _normal_ interests." Natsuki stated.

Yuri: "They're embarrassing…"  
Yuri: "And people would make fun of me."  
Yuri: "Don't you have anything like that, MoNatSaYuri?"  
MoNatSaYuri: "Well…"

"'I sometimes sneak into Sayori's room at night and steal her panties.'" Natsuki joked.

MoNatSaYuri: "Yeah, I guess I do…"  
Yuri: "I feel like everyone has a little something like that."  
Yuri: "The best we can do is respect each other and our individualities."

"So knowing what poem Natsuki's about to give," Monika began, looking between the purple and pink haired girls. "Did you two choose the same topic _again_?"

"Considering what her poem's _actually_ about, no." Natsuki stated. "But yeah, we sync up in the weirdest ways."

"Now I wanna see what happens when you two play rock-paper-scissors!" Sayori beamed.

"We both choose scissors and try to poke each other's eyes." Natsuki joked.

Yuri: "Even if it's difficult sometimes, and some things make us uncomfortable…"  
Yuri: "After all, if I hadn't learned to embrace my own weirdness, I would hate myself."  
Yuri: "I-I might be ranting a little bit now…"  
Yuri: "…But I'm glad that you're a good listener."

"'Hm, wha?'" Monika joked. "'You say something?'"

*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*

"'Now away with you!'" Monika joked.

Who should I show my poem to next?  
[Sayori]  
[Natsuki]  
[Monika]

"Okay, time for three…" Natsuki mumbled as she shook the three-sided die around in her hand, before dropping it to the table. "Oh, hey, I'm up next." Natsuki commented before clicking her name.

*Scene fades to black before fading back in on the Clubroom*

"You're not going to skip this one too, are you?" Monika asked.

"Relax, I'm actually kinda proud of it." Natsuki answered.

Natsuki: "…Hm."

"'Maybe it'll make more sense if I read it backwards…'" Monika joked.

Natsuki: "Well, it's not terrible."

"'Did you write this upside-down or something?'" Sayori said in an impression of her pink friend.

Natsuki: "But it's pretty disappointing after your last one."

"'You're sure you didn't force a bot to write this?'" Natsuki quipped.

Natsuki: "Then again, if this one was as good as your last one, I would be completely pissed."

"So you'd be your normal self then?" Yuri remarked.

MoNatSaYuri: "Well, I guess I wanted to try something a little different this time."  
Natsuki: "Fair enough. You're still new to this, so I wouldn't expect you to find your style right away."  
Natsuki: "Come to think of it, this kind of reminds me of Sayori's poem from yesterday…"

"… _How?_ " Yuri asked.

"It makes me hungry." Natsuki answered.

"That just…" Yuri began before sighing. "Ask a stupid question, I guess."

MoNatSaYuri: "Eh? You think so?"

"Even the _writer_ is confused by that." Yuri commented.

Natsuki: "Yeah. Well, I guess if you've been friends with her for so long, you might be on the same wavelength."

"I'm not sure what wavelength Sayori's on," Natsuki said as she looked towards the ginger in question, before the video cut to a closeup on Sayori's face as 8-bit beeping played. "But it's certainly not his."

Natsuki: "But you never really struck me as her type."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Sayori has a 'type' all of a sudden…?"

"Yeah, they're the types with faces." Natsuki joked.

Natsuki: "Well, I don't know! But honestly, how can someone so…er, fluffy…spend so much time with someone like you?"  
Natsuki: "It's like she's dragging around a dead weight."  
MoNatSaYuri: "Uug… That was a little unnecessary…"  
MoNatSaYuri: "But think of it this way. If it weren't for me, she would probably just fly away like letting go of a balloon."

"Oh, come on, I'm not that much of a-" Sayori began before looking up out the window. "Ooh, a butterfly!"

"Sayori… I worry for you sometimes." Natsuki commented.

MoNatSaYuri: "You could say we each take care of each other in our own way."

"Oh, I get it." Monika began. "You weigh her down, and she pulls you up."

Natsuki: "Whatever it is, I don't get it…"

"'The world of you straight people is a mystery to me.'" Natsuki joked.

Natsuki: "…Oh, yeah, I guess I'm supposed to show you my poem."  
Natsuki: "Here."  
*A piece of paper appears on the screen, showing Natsuki's poem.*  
Amy Likes Spiders  
You know what I heard about Amy?  
Amy likes spiders.  
Icky, wriggly, hairy, ugly spiders!  
That's why I'm not friends with her.

Amy has a cute singing voice.  
I heard her singing my favorite love song.  
Every time she sang the chorus, my heart would pound to the rhythm of the words.  
But she likes spiders.  
That's why I'm not friends with her.

One time, I hurt my leg really bad.  
Amy helped me up and took me to the nurse.  
I tried not to let her touch me.  
She likes spiders, so her hands are probably gross.  
That's why I'm not friends with her.

Amy has a lot of friends.  
I always see her talking to people.  
She probably talks about spiders.  
What if her friends start to like spiders too?  
That's why I'm not friends with her.

It doesn't matter if she has other hobbies.  
It doesn't matter if she keeps it private.  
It doesn't matter if it doesn't hurt anyone.

It's gross.  
She's gross.  
The world is better off without spider lovers.

And I'm gonna tell everyone.

Natsuki: "Not bad, right?"

"Well, it's definitely better than your last poem." Yuri stated.

"The _dictionary's_ a better poem than my last poem." Natsuki remarked.

* * *

 _ ***Pst, hey, it's me. I probably shouldn't be telling you this, but this story is illegal. FanFiction doesn't allow MST stories. If for some reason this story disappears off the website, you**_ **might** _ **be able to find it on my DeviantArt page. Just look up Christopherweebling DeviantArt.***_


End file.
